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Alien Ancestors


    Scientists at The National Academy for the Study of UFOs have confirmed the existence of the "UFO chromosome." Working with
DNA recovered from the aliens of the Roswell, New Mexico crash, the scientists have discovered that the "UFO chromosome" is also present in some humans. This discovery confirms that aliens have been breeding with humans for centuries and beaming their progeny back to earth.

    For the "low" price of $10,000, they will test your DNA to see if you have the "UFO chromosome." While the test will not tell which ancestor had the "UFO chromosome," there are several ways to identify that ancestor. For such ancestors to conceal their


(1) They moved every few years;

(2) Their surname was unique in jurisdictions where they lived;

(3) The (alien) county clerk ensured that their marriage bonds and other records were lost, their deeds were set aside and never recorded, and their probate files would disappear;

(4) The (alien) census taker either would not list them or would list them twice with slight variations;

(5) The family Bible was sent "west" with the youngest unmarried daughter, who later married a "Mr. Smith;"

(6) The land with the family cemetery was sold to outsiders, who used the headstones to make a sidewalk;

(7) Their church did not believe in recording vital statistics;

(8) They told tall tales about their relationship to someone famous;

(9) They started rumors that they were born in England and arrived in Virginia with two brothers (one of whom was born in France, the other in Sweden). To conceal their identities, one brother moved to Georgia, another to Maine, and the third stayed in Virginia; and

(10) when all else failed and they were in real and present danger of discovery, the court house "accidentally" would burn.

If you can prove that your ancestor was beamed down by aliens, you qualify to purchase a history of the Alien Family, complete with the Alien coat of arms suitable for display.