Search billions of records on Ancestry.com

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR ANCESTRAL NAMES AND OTHER RECORDS
(Forwarded to us by Eugene Hampton)

(1) Thou shalt name your male children: Abel, Balaam, Daniel, Elisha, Elijah, Frank, Jack, James, John, Joseph, Levi, Michael, Nimrod, Noah, Richard, Thomas, or William

(2) Thou shalt name your female children: Elender, Elizabeth, Hulda, Julia, Lucinda, Lourana, Mahala, Mary, Martha, Nancy, Nelly, Phoebe, Sarah and Tabitha.

(3) Thou shalt leave NO trace of your female children.

(4) Thou shalt, after naming your children from the above lists, call them by strange nicknames such as: Bate, Bith, Cooter, Cussin John, Dolly, Eli, Haley, John Bear, Mote, Pale Wooley, Polly, Pus, Red and Sukey---making them difficult to trace.

(5) Thou shalt NOT use middle names on any legal documents or census reports, and use only initials on legal documents.

(6)Thou shalt learn to sign all documents illegibly so that your surname can be spelled, or misspelled, in various ways, such as: Dock, Dockery, Dockray, Dockrey, Dockerty, Dolquery.

(7) Thou shalt, after no more then 3 generations, make sure that all family records are lost, misplaced, burned in a court house fire, or buried so that NO future trace of them can be found.

(8) Thou shalt propagate misleading legends, rumors, & vague innuendo regarding your place and date of birth.

(9) Thou shalt record migration patterns of male ancestors in the most ambigous and misleading way, such as: You may have descended from one of three brothers that came over on the Mayflower.
 
(10) Thou shalt avoid Census takers as much as possible. Suggestions: A. Men should go hunting, B. Women and children should visit friends and relatives as far away as possible. If this fails and you get caught, be sure to fudge on your age as much as you can get by with up to ten years.

(11) Thou shalt leave NO cemetery records, or headstones with legible names.

(12) Thou shalt leave NO family Bible with records of birth, marriages, or deaths.

(13) Thou shalt ALWAYS flip thy name around. If born James Albert, thou must make all the rest of thy records in the names of Albert, James, AJ, JA, AL, Bert, Bart, or Alfred.

(14) Thou must also flip thy parent's names when making reference to them, although "Unknown" or a blank line is an acceptable alternative.

(15) Thou shalt name at least 5 generations of males, and dozens of their cousins with identical names in order to totally confuse researchers.

(16) Consider changing you surname all together.  'Now I dare them to find me!'

(17) Finally, and most importantly, thou shalt never record the identification of ANYONE on family photographs.


RETURN TO "FUN" INDEX
RETURN TO STONE COUNTY MAIN PAGE