There was once a ferryman who was so deaf that he could neither hear nor make out what anyone said to him. He had an old wife, and two sons and a daughter, and they didn't trouble themselves about the man, but lived merrily and well, as long as there was anything to live on, and afterwards they bought on credit from the innkeeper, and gave parties and feasts every day.
When no one would give them any more credit, the bailiff was coming to seize their goods to pay for what they had borrowed and wasted. So the old woman and the children went to her kin, and left the deaf man behind alone to receive the bailiff and his man.
The man poked and pottered about the place, and wondered what the bailiff wanted to ask about, and what he should say when he came. "I can start whittling away at something," he said to himself. «Then he'll ask me about it. I'll start on an axe handle. Then he'll ask me what that's going to be, and I'll say "Axe handle!" Then he'll ask me how long it's going to be, so I'll say: "Up to this knot!" I', going to tar her. She's lying down on the shore, cracked at both ends!" Then he'll ask: Where's that old gray mare of yours?" So I'll say: "She's out in the stall, big with foal!" Then he'll ask: "Where your cattle and your cowshed?" And I'll say: "That's not far away. When you get up the hill, you're there in no time!" This, he thought, was well and carefully thought out.
After a while the bailiff came. He was certain enough of the way, but his man had taken another road by way of the inn, and was still sitting there drinking. "Good day, fellow!" said the bailiff. !Axe handle!" said the ferryman. "Ah so -," said the bailiff. "How far is it to the inn?" he asked. "Up to this knot!" said the man and pointed a bit up the axe handle. The bailiff shook his head and started hard at him. "Where's your old woman, fellow?" he said. "I'm going to tar her," said the ferryman. "She's lying down on the shore, cracked at both ends!" "Where's your daughter?" "Oh, she's out in the stall, big with foal!" He thought he was answering both wisely and well for himself. "Oh, go to the devil, fool that you are!" said the bailiff. "Well, that's not far. Once you get up the hill, you're there in no time!" said the man.