DIARY OF RUTH ROCKWELL
(1786-1836)
BEING A PORTION OF A DIARY, 1827-1828
A PROFESSION OF FAITH
and
AN 1834 LETTER TO HER CHILDREN
COPIED FROM THE ORIGINALS
BY HER GREAT GREAT GRANDSON
Kenneth B Burroughs
FOREWORD
This diary, or portion of a diary of Ruth Rockwell
(1786-1836) who married William Justus Townsend (1780-1854) in 1802, was
apparently written in late 1828 and early 1829 and appears to have been
written in Westchester County, NY when she was 42 years old. It was
from Westchester County, NY, bordering on Connecticut that the family moved
to Ira, Cayuga County, NY in 1817 with five of their seven children.
They joined the Lysander (Onondaga County, NY) Presbyterian Church in 1820
and 1821 and at some time moved to Lysander from Ira. I am not sure
why this diary was written in Westchester County, although many Rockwell
and Townsend relatives still lived there. That area of New York State is
close to the Connecticut border from where the Rockwells came. Particularly
mentioned in the diary are Carmel (NY), Ridgebury (CT), North Salem (NY)
and Quaker Ridge (NY). The Mr Benedict mentioned in the diary may
be a distant relative. The Townsends had migrated from Long Island.
Her youngest son, James Harvey Townsend was born in 1827 when she was 41
years old. That is the same year that her daughter Delia (1803-1894,
married to Eli Skinner Matson) had our great grandfather, Augustine Matson.
Thomas Rockwell Townsend was her oldest son and he was a minister, her
second son Justus Washburn Townsend was a lawyer and served a term in the
New York State Assembly, another son, Ebenezer Grant Townsend was also
a minister. Another son, William Townsend Jr, lived in Florida, and
another daughter Ruth Ann Townsend married George Hallock and lived most
of her life in Cayuga County, NY.
Most of Ruth's diary is confined to church or other religious meetings and describes her own feelings of inadequacy in the area of religious devotion. I'm not certain of the spelling of some of the names and have spelled them as I saw them, for example Landon, Landers and Landen are probably the same man and similarly Lund, Land and Lord are probably the same. The DEDICATION TO GOD was probably written about the same time as the diary. The letter to her children written to son Thomas Rockwell Townsend 23 May 1834 mentions many of the same Westchester County area locations and several people as well and the latter portion of the letter deals with religious matters. She was 47 at the time and she died two and one half years later, 1 November 1836, at the age of 50. The photograph we have of her makes her appear as a much older lady.
DIARY OF RUTH ROCKWELL TOWNSEND 1827-1828
Oct 31, 182(7?)
This day has been observed by the Church as a day of humiliation fasting
& prayer Met at 11 Spent some time in conversation then
3 prayers Mr L preached from Jonah ch 3-5 in connection with the 10 ______
people. Nineveh believed God and proclaimed a fast and put on sackcloth
from the greatest of them even to the least of them. Jonah preached
to the Ninevites that within forty days their city should be overthrown
and they believed God and fasted and humbled themselves and repented of
the evil that he thought to do unto them and he did it not.
Sabbath Mr L preached from _____ 6,5 Having predestinated
us unto the adoption of Children by Jesus Christ to himself according to
the good pleasure of his will. Shewed the nature of adoption
some men that have no children take some children as their own and make
them heirs to their estates sometimes they see a peculiar excellency in
them that makes them take them as their own. But G sees no goodness
in an ___ the Children of men that is the reason of his adopting us as
his children. (illegible) I desire to be humbled I have reason to
fear I shall not (illegible)
Jan 1 1828
I desire to thank the Lord that he has brought to
see the beginning of another year & to begin it with God
Mr Hawley and Mr G called upon us wanted us more
faithful and to be active in doing good to be more engaged in prayer for
a revival ______ unbelief was a damning sin Mr
G (preached?) in the evening went to a prayer meeting _____ _____
heard excellent prayers & exhortations was in a wandering state of
mind O to improve the privileges I enjoy & Gods glory and
to my own spiritual God
3rd attended a prayer meeting at Mr L the
object was to pray for the anxious O I fear I have no love to the
souls of my fellow creatures fear I do not get any God to my soul
4 Met at Sister L for prayers I hope
I can say it was good to be there O for the grace to be faithful
Jan 6 Sabbath Mr Lord Acts 10-1-2
Shewed the character of Cornelius he was devout man and prayed to
God always he acted according to the light ___enjoyed and the Lord
sent (Job?) to instruct him into the knowledge of LJC (Lord Jesus Christ)
The discourse was intended to shew the duty of family he said it
was the duty of all heads of families whether they were males, widows,
or single persons or an association of persons dwelling together to attend
family prayer.
January 6 I attended the M convent felt
____ cold & ____ O for grace & faith to be engaged
for the salvation of my own soul and the souls of my fellow creatures
Jan 9 Prayer meeting at M L some professors
much engaged when Zion traveleth she shall bring forth children I
pray that I may profit by all the meetings I attend
Friday 10 our small circle of sisters met
this afternoon there was a spirit of prayer with some O that
I may profit by this opportunity
13 Sabbath Mr Landers John (a Bible
citation) Jesus answered and said unto ____ if thou knowest the gift
of God and who it is that saith to thee give me a drink _____
_____ _____ have asked of him and he ______ _____ guess the living
The influences of the H spirit we compared to living water and we must
go to Christ for them he has promised to send the comforter to his children
and all blessings come to us through Christ but he has no where promised
to give the H spirit to those who will not ask
Tuesday 15 Prayer meeting here this evening
felt unwell did not enjoy the meeting as I ought good prayers & exhortations
I have reason to be humbled in the dust for my misimprovement of the privileges
I enjoy
Thursday 17 Prayer m all who took
part seemed very much engaged there was such feeling Mr Landers confined
his (scoldings?) but did not justify him self I hope it was good
for me to be there
Friday we met together I felt very wandering in mind
did not feel any dependance as I ought O for grace to be faithful
and to live to God's glory
Jan 20 2 Samuel
And David returned to bless his household
This discourse was a continuation of the subject on family prayers brought
a great many examples to prove that family prayer was practiced in both
the old testament and the new
Thursday Attended
a prayer meeting at Mr L the people appeared solemn and devout four
prayers and three exhortations O for a heart to serve the Lord
wholly and to be faithful to my own soul and the souls of my fellow creatures
Monday four of us met this afternoon hope
the meeting may be for the better and not for the worse have an expression
which ought to humble me in the dust Oh for grace to be faithful
and for a love for souls
O may I not forget this reproof & for humility
February 29 1828 Mr Landers preparatory lecture Phillipians 2-12-13
Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling for it is God which
worketh on you both to will and to do of his good pleasure 1st we
are called to work 2nd the object it is our salvation in what way are we
to work it is with fear and trembling our encouragement for it is
God which worketh in us
March 2 in the morning felt ______ in time of sermon felt no enjoyment
in time of communion felt (softness?) but fear I have not that ____ for
Christ that he will own _____ ____ felt I (hope?) a desire
for grace and service _____ better
March 2 1828 Communion Sabbath Mr L preached from John
17-9 I pray for them I pray not for the world but for them
which thou hast given me for they are (them?) I have whom Christ
prays for are them who believe on him Those whom we pray for will
be sound and ____ ____ are those whom he will not pray for
March 3 Monthly convent but two prayers Mr L made suitable
remarks from (space reserved but no further entry)
March 4 Meeting here this evening Mr Landon attended
Discourse from the 2 ch of Romans it shewed the goodness of God and
how miserable we are in our rebellion ingratitude Thought there
was a great want of Brotherly love among the members of this Church
exhorted all that love the Lord Jesus to a _____ contin____ in well doing
Thursday Mr Lord a full meeting ____ of the old (male?) professors
absent five prayers R M made a good address to professors on
the importance of being more faithful two new ones attended the _______
meeting I am ________ unto heaven in point of privilege
but oh what a poor return do I make for all the ______ I (enjoy?)
March 9 Mr Ram___y preached from Numbers 6
(space for further entries, but none made
Thursday Mr L
March 13 a full room Mr Custer thought some things looked encouraging
there was a large number of females and some things were encouraging
there were but few males Mr Sanders came to the meeting and made
very good remarks on the unfaithfulness of the professors felt my
unfaithfulness O for grand thoughts to be faithful to my own soul
& the souls of my fellow sinners
Met at Mr Lander 2 prayers perhaps it was good that those who met that
I was not permitted to call upon the name of the Lord
March 16 Mr Landon expounded on (18?) chapter of Luke ___ ___
verses parable of the Pharisee Publican Discoursed first
on that most excellent grace humility displayed in the character of Jesus
Christ every carnal heart has the shirt of the pharisee they think
themselves better than others
17 Monday evening met with the young converts a very good meeting
I have reason to hide my face in the dust when I see the zeal and love
of these young converts
Tuesday attended meeting at L Boutons Mr Landon there He discoursed
from the 9 first verses of the tenth of Jeremiah showed the vanity
of the Idols of the heathens and shewed the miseries of those who have
no God and who wish there is none. said while under conviction he
wished there was no God I felt (stupid?) had a heavy cold
Romans 3 __ 3 March 18 for all have and come short of the glory God
20 Meeting at Mr L some gave observations made on the duty of
professors living consistently with their professions Mr Landen and
those who attended the anxious meeting came in Mr L talked very feelingly
recommended Saturday to be spent in fasting & prayers to pray that
God will ____ out his spirit in a more abundant manner
friday met with Mr G felt nothing but a hard heart O that I may
be softened by the power of Christ
Saturday to fast felt nothing I ___ to beg pardon
for my sin
23 Mr Landers expounded the 7 first verses of the 9 of John who did
sin this man or his parents the Jews had initiated the notion that
great sinners were punished in another body of ____ their parents
sin but Christ tells them that this was not the cause of this blindness
but that the works of God might be made (in a life?)
Christ tells the blind man go and wash in the pool of (Liloam?) and
he went this was the test of his obedience O to be as willing
to obey Christ in all commanded duty as was this blind man
Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know the(e?) not upon the families
that will not on thy name Mr Landers mentioned his having ______
preached on the Duty of all heads of families to perform family prayers
still cannot give up the subject until he ______ once more with those who
might this duty even their Children who have _____ished through their
night will rise up against you and curse you Oh how I Did ____ght
my duty to her whom ___ did commit to my charge will the Lord
pardon my sin
Monday evening the young converts met here it was a _____ meeting
to see their engagements is enough to shame me O that it may make
me faithful
March 30 Mr Lund our preacher at North Salem We had a very good
meeting. The forenoon Sermon was from Christ weeping over Jerusalem
O that I may be enabled to weep over my sins that caused the suffering
of the son of God afternoon John 12 7-11 The Holy
spirit is sent in consequence of __ ____ he convinces the sinner of his
sin and the reason is he does not operate savingly on the hearts of sinners
the _____ his operations they do not wish to have their sins
The spirit will not always strive with man with some he strives with man
with some he strives to the day of their death and with some who enjoyed
the means of grace all their days perhaps he leaves them ere they arrive
at middle age This is an awful consideration O divine
spirit wilt thou be pleased to make my heart a meet temple for thy residence
Thursday evening attended the prayer at Mr L 3 prayers and very
good remarks from _____ 12 chap about presenting our bodies a living sacrifice
holy acceptable to God which is our reasonable service and how we ought
to strive not to be con_____ed to the world
Saturday ______ met at Mr L thought it better to
be there than to stay away
Sabbath 6 Mr Landers expounded from Job 9-9-17
Monday attended the monthly convent 3 prayers
Wensday I attended the Conference of Quaker ridge
Thursday the meeting was very interesting heard a great many
reports and prayers but O how little I felt and how little I remember
surely it was time when Christians felt for poor sinners and I do believe
the Lord will answer the prayers of his people O to feel for the
souls of my fellow creatures and for my own soul O that the
meeting I have attended this week may be for the good of my own soul
Romans 8-24-25 verses ______
April 13 Mr Landers explained (9?) Chapt of John 10-23
afternoon preached from Mark 1- 5 33 verse to neglect to give our children
to God in baptism is to despise them
Monday evening prayer meeting in other room the young converts
much engaged O for the same spirit they possess
Thursday evening at Mr L meeting very full & solemn Mr Landers
remarked how highly we were favored as a people with health & peace
and abundance of this worlds goods and how abundantly we are favored with
the means of grace and of the influences of the holy spirit and then shewed
our black ingratitude
April 20 1828 This day has been so rainy I could not go to church
and I do not think there has been any meeting there was no meeting
Thursday evening went to Mr Lockwoods there was a full meeting
mostly females Mr Landers made remarks from the first Chapter of
James unless we are doers of the the word it will be no profit to us to
be heard
friday ______ met at Mr Lord's O for the grace to be faithful
in the performance of every duty
Sabbath 27 Mr Landers absent at Carmel had an excellent prayer
from Decon Mead and a Solemn Discourse from proverbs 28 1-3 He that
covereth his sins shall not prosper shewed the vain excuses sinners
would make to cover their sins but none ever did or ever will prosper by
covering their sins not even David when he Defiled the bed of his faithful
servant in the after. on the duty of parents set forth
O how I fail of doing my duty I desire to mourn my sins
Monday evening attended a meeting at Mr Lords the young converts
seemed to think they were growing cold and seemed to mourn for it
Tuesday evening meeting _____ Mr R made an excellent prayer
Mr G made remarks on the first part of the 10 Chapter of 1 Corinthians
we are exceding apt to blame the Israelites but ar(e) we not a more inconsistent
part are we not setting our affecctions on things below are
we not striving and thinking more of this world & its enjoyments than
we are of Christ and things above Thought it was good to be here
friday we met at Mr L I have reason to mourn and be ashamed for
my sin which I attempt to draw near to God O to be washed in
the Blood of Christ that cleanses from all sin O for the grace
to live to the glory of God
May 4 Sabbath Mr Lord preached from Eccliastes 12-1 Remember
now thy creator in the day of thy youth These are the words of Solomon
supposed to be spoker near the close of life and is as it were his dying
advice to his children we are all prone naturally to forget God
we ought to remember God our Creator God our redeemer and God our ________
The days of our youth are called (nursing or musing?) days it
is the period when we choose our professions when we choose our partners
and it is the time when we choose whom we will serve Mathew 10- Take
hard that ye despise not one of these little ones for I say unto you that
in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my father Children
are despised when parents neglect to take care of their bodies and do not
provide for their wants in sickness & health they despise them when
they refuse to have them baptised or they despise the ordnance of baptism
They despise them when they do not send them to the L school
Monday May 5 Monthly convent Mr Benedict attended he prayed and
talked upon 102 Psalms said our first petition ought to be thy kingdom
come which is recorded in our L's prayer for our example
May (6?) attended the conference at Ridgebury (CT?) went up Thursday
the reports were very interesting and the room was very solemn and impressive
Mr Burton's confession was very humble and feeling Mr Kniffen's
address to Mr Prestons was very feeling and tender and aged man addressed
the old people a middleaged man addresed the middle aged and a young
man the youth this is the second conference I have attended for grace
to live according to the privilege I enjoy
friday 4 of us met at Mr Lords I thought at the time it
was good to be there but _______ I do not meet with those motives that
G will own and bless O for true repentance for all my sins
Sabbath May 11 Mr Landers ______ from 9 of John
Shewed our unbelief and that we have the strongest evidence in favor of
the gospel even the testimony of those who were once blind but now see
afternoon the Lord commended the unjust steward in that he had done ____ly
for the children of this world are wiser in their generation than the children
of light.
Meeting at Mr Lords Sabbath evening two prayers and two exhortations
friday we met at Mr Lords we often meet but I have good reason
to fear that God will say to me when ye make many prayers I will not hear
O will _____ _____ _______
Sabbath May 12 _____ John ____ Jesus will stand by his witness let
men willingly do their Duty and they will soon find more light and confess
if we deny ourselves and prefer the service of Christ wicked men will forsake
our company while the blind man remains blind The Jews found no fault
with him but as soon as his eyes were opened they cast him out. Those
who believe G word find comfort the great Question is then
Do we believe those who have received spiritual benefits from G will desire
further acquaintance with him to these weak & ignorant ones C
reveals him self more fully than the wise & great he it is that gives
them the desire. There is no individual desire to come to C but G
is near to him Those who have been spiritually enlightened do not
doubt any word of the Christ came to give sight to those who desire to
see. how does the ____ affect you does it enlighten you does it humble
you does it bring you to the feet of Jesus Psalms
I will walk before my house in a humble way 3 of us met here today
felt it was good to be _____ ...
This ends the diary portion and the following constitutes a profession of faith:
I now through the assistance of God desire this day to give myself in a covenant unto the Lord in writing I hope that it has been done before in heart but hopes of being more sure I desire to seal it with a pen wilt thou be pleased to except of me and through the mediator let not this hard deceitful heart deceive me let me not build on a false foundation but may I build on that sure foundation stone that is laid in Zion which all pow(e)rs of hell shall never prevail against O wilt thou be pleased to make this a seal of the covenant which I have entered into and make me ever live a life agre(e)able to the profession I have made leave me not to bring disgrace upon thy holy Religion but wilt thou enable me to die daily unto sin and live unto righteousness make me to arrive from one degree of grace to annother till I will arrive to the high calling of God in Christ Jesus our Lord there to sing an anthem of praise and Hallelugahs throughout the ceaseless ages of eternity
O most heavenly father I entreat you that thou wilt not suffer me to depend upon anything I have done or can do but make me to depend solely and alone upon the merits of Jesus Christ for pardon and salvation
This ends the profession of faith and the 23 May 1834 letter to her son Thomas Rockwell Townsend follows:
to T(h)omas R Townsend, Lysander, Onondaga County, NY
So Salem May 23, 1834
My Dear Children,
I expect your father (William Justus Townsend 1780-1853)
has neglected writing you so I imbrace the opportunity to let you no our
situation as far as I am able next Saturday after we left home we
put up at Mr Lombards spent the time very pleasantly till Monday and did
not reach Brother Townsends till Friday about twelve o'clock as we were
hindered by rain and bad travelling we found them well as we
could expect to we stayed there till Thursday and Friday we reached
North Salem spent the Sabbath at Ridgeberry the next Sabbath we spent at
South Salem very agreeably I do believe the Lord has begun a good
work there after Meeting we went to Martin Meads and took tea and there
your Father and Mother parted he set out for Bedford and Uncle Lewis
(Rockwell 1788-1855?) was to go with him to New York and if they could
not sell the horse Lewis will take him back. your aunt Fanny (Rockwell,
born 1794, married Walter Olmstead) was to Mr Meads and carried me to Ridgefield
I think likely your Father will be gone three weeks when he returns I expect
to set out for home as soon as possible you see Dear Children how
far we are separated from each other and the Lord knows whether we shall
meet in the land of living or not but this is not so important as whether
we are prepared to meet in eternity do let each one of us examine
our selfs and see whether we have grace in the heart or not and if by examination
we find we have not O dont let us rest till we repent our sins
give our whole hearts to our saviour perhaps we shall feel I wish
I had a new heart but I cannot repent what cannot be sorry that you have
offended a holy God is it not your duty to love him with all your
heart and your neighbor as your self and do you not no you have not done
it I beg of you to return unto the Lord immediately without delay
to morrow may be forever to late and you no that confesseth and forsaketh
shall find mercy lay down the weapons of your rebellion serve
Satan no longer for the end will be death but serve your saviour and the
end will be life everlasting this may be the last advice that you
will ever receive from your mother and do not let it be in vain.
You will want to know how my health has been since I left home and I have
been as contented as I expected to be and have enjoyed myself as well as
I expected to and I do hope I shall be contented with my own condition
whether in sickness or health life or Death I leave myself and Family
in the hands of My Dear Saviour and Subscribe myself your affectionate
other
Ruth Townsend
To my dear children in Ira please my love to my
Dear friends there.
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24 July 1999
