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Percy Hancox, Dalvey Rd. Tapanui
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There's a Pig's Head Hanging on the Wall
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I walked the bush at close of day
I use to often go that way
but never did see such a sight
of wild pigs out before the night
and never heard such growls and roars
such savage sounds from sows and boars
when like Tom Tom the Piper's song
I caught a pig and away I run.
An old boar quickly blocked my track
I looked at him and he looked back
His eyes were evil in his head
the look he gave me plainly said
"You tried to rob my favourite sow."
I nearly died of fear and fright
but didn't look to left or right
and so to bluff and hide my fear
I kept going till he bounded near.
His mouth was open very wide
I shoved my boot right inside
and grasped an ear in each hand
and hung on tight, so I could stand.
With my foot I pushed and poked
he shook his head and then he choked
and with a grasping gurgling sound
we both collapsed on to the ground.
This old boar didn't rip or root
His mouth was full of my gumboot
and as I struggled to my feet
He made off in full retreat.
My boot was stuck behind his teeth
I had no right to say, "stop thief!"
because, if you could understand
I had his left ear in my right hand.
Fear had my hand completely cramped
the death grip on his ear I'd clamped.
While hand and ear for hours I soaked
my wife and family laughed and joked.
They said if you'd forget your fear
you might let go that awful ear.
At last I loosed, and let it fall
they pounced and pinned it on the wall
then our time to shift was getting near
I shot a boar with just one ear
I knew at once this must be it
and found the ear a perfect fit.
The ear was like Cinderella's shoe
so only one pig's head would do.
We glued it firmly in it's place
it evened up his ugly face
instead of one ear on the wall
we now have head and ears and all.
P.S.
Now people and pigs are much the same
and the pigs are not to blame
for though it doesn't do them good
most men are far too fond of food
and any time that they get off
their feet are in the nearest trough
the bad ones do not like the light
they hide all day and come out at night.
Written by Percy Hancox, Dalvey Rd. Tapanui
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