Have you ever belonged to a secret society that was so secret even the members don’t acknowledge each other? We can’t … we’re a secret. This will make more sense someday when I’m ready to explain.

If I’ve heard this once, I’ve heard it twice … "Who, me? I don’t need glasses!" I can’t see my hand in front of my face or the pictures on the wall across the room, but I don’t need glasses. I only need them to read and those little reading glasses are never where you need them. Thursday morning as I was getting ready for work I sprayed on some perfume, I didn’t know why my bottle of perfume would be sitting on the sink, but I sprayed anyway. Even the soap and water couldn’t wash it all off so I worked all day smelling like men’s cologne.

And speaking of circuses and high-wire acts, I used to watch all of the other kids at school wrap their hands around the bar across the top of the monkey bars; swing around and drop to the ground and jump for joy over their accomplishment. I figured if they could do it, so could I. Climbing up there should be a breeze and anybody can lean forward, can’t they? It was the trying to get the blood and rocks out of my mouth, eyes and nose that was the kicker. And (since once you leaned forward the only way to go was down) how the heck did I get way over by the Lutheran church? My little cousin, Patty Fletcher, was leading me to her mother’s house.

So, when you hear someone say, "He/she never knew what hit him/her," trust me; I can testify to that. The way I remember it, there was a dull thud then lights out. What is the lesson to be learned here? When it comes my time to go I’ll have someone put me back up on that monkey bar and lean forward. Kind of like killing two birds with one lean … "going home to go home."

Do birds have sensors? Have you ever wondered about that? I have. Seems to me, no matter where I park my vehicle, or where the bird perches its little self, as soon as I turn on my windshield wipers I end up with the white crappy (and I use the term literally) streak right in my line of vision. If I sat two inches higher in the seat would I be able to see over the streak then it wouldn’t matter? Probably not. I love the commercial on TV that shows the little car sitting under the highline wires with birds on the lines right above the car. The car does a little side-step to get out or range. So do the birds … side-step that is, to keep over their target.

Do you remember Glass Wax? Whatever happened to Glass Wax? I loved the stuff. You always knew where you had already wiped the window and they were SO CLEAN. Glass Wax was a pink creamy petroleum product that your put on a rag then smeared all over the window. As soon as all of the pink had dried you would be left with a white powder. That's when it was time to get a clean dry cloth and start wiping the powder off. You had to keep shaking the wiped off powder from your rag and your hair got covered with wax dust, but those windows shined like nothing you have ever seen. And no streaks.
Note: Darlene Cramer brought an old rusty partial can of Glass Wax to me at the office. What a nice gesture!  It was pretty strong-smelling petroleum, but I took it home and checked it. How surprised I was that it still worked as well as it did 30-40 years ago.

During our oilfield days, one day we driving across Montana and there, alongside the Interstate was this three-story brick building. On the side, printed in two-foot letters it said, "Payback is a bitch." Someone else came along and wrote beneath the message, "So is Marilyn."

My Morgan (6) called from Las Vegas one day to tell me, "I absolutely cannot comprehend how (when two people are communicating over the phone,) the receiver hears the words at the exact same time as the transmitter sends them. How fast is the speed of sound, Nana?"   "Uh ..... ask your mom".

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