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Matagorda County Tribune

Collegeport Columns

September, 1927

Collegeport Items

The Bayview School will open September 4th.

Mrs. A. G. Hunt left on a business trip and visit to Mt. Belvieu, Texas.

Mr. Pat Richman has just finished threshing this year’s crop of rice which amounted to some 6000 sacks.

Verner Bowers will resume his duties with the Collegeport Rice and Irrigation Company Store after a two weeks vacation.

L. E. Liggett and family have returned from several weeks visit by auto to Dallas, Texas, Wichita, Kans., and other points north.

Miss Myrtle Fulcher is expected home this week after an extended visit to Garwood, Mt. Belvieu, Ganado and other points in north Texas.

Mr. Emmitt Chiles has returned to Collegeport on a short visit from El Maton, where he has been busy with his rice threshing outfit in that vicinity.

The Collegeport Industrial League met at the home of Mr. Ben Mowery in their regular monthly session. Many items of importance were handled, three new members were taken in and delicious refreshments were served.

The Collegeport Fig Orchards Co. townsite orchards and are getting ready for the fall crop of figs which will open soon. They estimated a good crop for the two year old trees.

The farmers and truck growers are interested in the co-operative movement with the Bay City Chamber of Commerce whereby shipments of Giant stringless green beans and Copenhagen cabbage can be shipped in car load lots from this vicinity.

Palacios Beacon, September 1, 1927


By Harry Austin Clapp


Collegeport, Aug. 30.--M. A. Travis visiting The Homecrofters. Girl with peg heel shoes teetering along. Makes one think of Chinese women with bound feet. Engineer Huston mailing letters. Salright for Seth [Corse] needs the money. Bunch of girls fishing for crabs with poor luck. Bud Conover sparking. Some one stealing chickens. Wonder if he realizes it is now a criminal offense. Wonder if twelve soldier boys did die from drinking wood alcohol colored with iodine. Children getting ready for school. Robert Murry turned detective. Figs putting on fruit. Truck men buying seed for fall crop. New shade of hose so near like "au natural" that hose seems unnecessary. League holding regular meeting at Ben Mowery's. Several real estate deals pending. Looks like good time for Burton Hurd to return. R. J. R. still ten cents per bale a local store. Our prayer still unanswered. Business picking up at the P. O. Train four hours late. Couple of birthdays this week. John Heisey laying water pipe. Beacon on time this week. Wonder where Ora [Chapin] is? My miserable wretch don't look to be--dare not give figures. Why will bowlegged gals wear short skirts? Gambling games, rodeos, vaudeville, hamburger stands at Palacios fading away until next year. Lots of whistling, bell ringing, puffing as trains move 6500 soldiers homeward. Palacios fire siren blowing the time and we know it is noon. Man buying can of malt for bread making. Tom Hale Jr. has arrived. Bet Barbara is a sweet mother. Folks waiting for evening mail. Some for the evening male. Barbara Jane and Tommie have returned to their home in Dallas. Nancy in New York. Wonder when Doc Harkey will bring his bunch of "good willers" to Collegeport. Can't keep those good eats forever. Jack Holsworth selling insurance. Pastures drying fast. Rangers searching a Negro's house. Found nothing. Should have known this is a virtuous burg. Reading the Post-Dispatch I learn that Gustafson has landed the county engineer job and I am glad that he has done so. Hope he gets busy on that nine-foot sidewalk. The Slopoke of the Allen Line brought a heavy cargo of ice and provisions this day. All I know about the Chaplin tragedy is what I read in the Houston papers and I read that the woman who was his wife receives close to a million dollars as a subsidy. I would enjoying seeing the miserable wretch who is my wife extract a similar sum from me. If she could do so would be willing to split fifty-fifty with her. Now what's the use of our commissioners' court dallying any more. They have Gustafson as engineer and why not turn the lateral roads over to him also. What's the use of using two engineers? We all know Gus and we know he is a good engineer and a good fellow. Let's get busy for we want those nine-foot sidewalks. Little girl weighing about 90 pounds carrying about 20 pounds of paint on her face. A good washing with an antiseptic soap might clean her up and reveal a sweet mug. Some paper says that women will wear more clothes. About time. Doc Harkey and Walker were here Tuesday and held an enormous meeting consisting of five folks. They gave their bean and cabbage talk and we were glad to see them but sorry they made the trip. Takes more than such a turn-out to discourage the good Doc and his crew. Lost my girl in the fracas for Doc carried her away for a day or three. The little fat man with the crooked stem pipe has reformed and now smokes one with straight stem and it also gurgles joyously. Lots of fine Collegeport staple going out. About 250 acres planted here and from what is said twice that will be planted next year. Need a gin--not Old Tom--but one that will separate seed from lint. Cream patrons kicking about tests. This is the usual thing among producers. Keeps their minds off other things--bond issue--county court--school--Church. Days getting shorter.


"I knew a very wise man that believed that if a man were permitted to make all the ballads, he need not care who should make the laws of the nation."--Andrew Fletcher of Sattoun.


Swift told a truth when he said, "The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet and Doctor Merryman." What a change there would be in this world if each of us would employ these doctors. It is not each to choose but of the three I suggest we here in Collegeport try a prescription from Doctor Merryman. If it worked there would not be so many long faces. An American tourist asked if the Pantheon wasn't the place where they kept the panthers that ate the people in the Coliseum. Well, anyway, whether they did or did not, the main thing for us in this county is that Doctor Harkey puts across his plan for a sweet cream station. His success in this plan means many an added dollar to those who are milking cows. It means about 33 1-3 per cent more money than producers are receiving at present.


"No sooner is a temple built to God but the devil builds a chapel near by."--George Herbert.


The sun rose Tuesday morning just as it did the day before and it found Justice still standing holding the scales by which she judges men. Milburn McNeil going to Bay City High School. Mrs. Welsby selling some of those contemporaneous eggs. Hattie Kundinger developing into a Sherlock Holmes. Hope she finds the chickens. The Liggett family returning home. Robert Murry riding a prancing horse. The Country Gentleman for August begins a story entitled The Silver Fleece which is a cotton story, and judging from the first installment it provides some real thinking stuff for every grower of cotton. It rips the romantic robes of royalty from King Cotton and lays bare the real truth. Business, love, hate, mixed with good doses and from a reading of the first installment I anticipate several interesting reading moments. Hugo [Kundinger] dishing out that "Sodelicious Ice Cream" to be had only at the store of Hugo. Did I say Hugo? Pardon, I mean Hattie's store. Mrs. Welsby feeding the faces of hungry fellows. Mrs. Mowery has made a reputation as a maker of ice cream. It was mostly nuts and fruits incased in frozen 40 per cent cream and was "Extrasodelicious." The good Gulf people digging up the gas tank at Chapin's. Anyway, we don't need it now for Arthur Matthes has twenty or thirty, perhaps less, gas pumps in this burg. The wife of the mayor of Portsmouth making a visit to Collegeport. There is no better place to spend a week-end. Jim O'Neal guarantees peace, rest, security, good food, a generous bed, free baths, a romp on the beach with petting allowed provided she will stand for it. A. E. Phelps has arrived from Illinois and so the burg grows but we still, like hell, need more people. The ruins of the old bank building still pointing accusing fingers to the sky. The past week I read two books, both of which I recommend to young and old, Order No. 11, by Caroline Abbot Stanley, is a gripping tale of the Civil War, depicting the trials and troubles of a high class Southern family caught between the armies of the South and North. The Leopard's Spots, by that interesting writer, Thomas Dixon Jr., tells of the reconstruction period and its scene is laid in North Carolina. It is difficult to believe that men could do the terrible things described in this book, but knowing Dixon as I do I must accept the story as a true account of conditions during that period. Both books present an appeal to the lover of lovers for a beautiful love tale is woven in them. Doctor Luke of the Labrador is another clean tale describing the land of Labrador. Its people and, written in their quaint language, is a bit difficult to understand, but it's good, and clean and wholesome. All three are most fascinating, engrossing and picturesque, depicting strong characters. They are the kind you can't drop 'til you have turned the last page and then you are tempted to glance through them again. Girl sitting in an auto, her jaws active on a "cud" of chicle, her face looking like a blank wall but with less intelligence. I know of no one who secures more ease and comfort from an auto than Jack Holsworth. Fine figure, handsome face and has all the appearance of a millionaire. No wonder the girls fall hard. The present manner of feminine dress makes only one eye necessary, so why keep up two eyes? I advise my men readers to read a good cook book. You will find many stirring passages. The mortality of Collegeport is very low. For years it has only averaged one for each person.


Matagorda County Tribune, September 2, 1927


Collegeport Items

Mrs. Jessie B. Richter left for Marshall, where she will spend the winter with her sister, Mrs. N. T. Womack.

Miss Francis Eisel left this week for Marshall, where she will attend the winter term at Marshall High School.

Miss Margaret Holsworth left Saturday, Sept. 3rd, for Chicago, where she will resume her regular duties in the schools of that city.

Mrs. C. L. Boeker and children returned home Sunday Sept. 4th, after an extended visit with friends in Illinois.

Mr. Bob Thompson has returned to Collegeport and resumes his job driving the school truck.

Dr. W. W. Van Wormer, president of the Collegeport Fig Orchards Co., of Springfield, Illinois, is visiting here this week and looking over his interests here and at Palacios.

The Collegeport Fig Orchards Company has mowed the grass and weeds along the main thoroughfares this week, also have tested out their new oil burner and cannery equipment, preparatory for canning the fall crop of figs.

The Bay View School opened this week with an attendance of about 40 pupils. The teachers are: Miss Crystal Thompson, of Tom Bean, Texas; Miss Louise Walters, Collegeport; and Miss Willard Baird, Principal, of Weimar, Texas.

Miss Elizabeth Hill, who has been visiting her sister, Mrs. Harry L. Eisel, here at Collegeport, has returned to her home at Marshall, Texas.

“Friendship alone all ties does bind the heart,
And faith in friendship is the noblest part.”

The County Federation of Woman’s Clubs met at Gulf, Saturday, Sept. 3, and those attending from Collegeport were, Mrs. Frank King, Mrs. S. W. Corse, Mrs. Roy Nelson, Mrs. S. B. Sims, Mrs. Crane and daughter, Dorothy,. Mrs. Sims was the official delegate from Collegeport.

Twin Cities—Palacios and Collegeport


There are two cities by the sea where skies are always blue,
And fields of the morning always sparkling with dew.
With a smile on your face and a smile in your heart,
In these two cities you can walk from Phantom of trouble apart;
For you know not the care of the works, or its wrong;
In a spot where past and future might bury their rue.--
Two cities, that to you will always be true.


Palacios and Collegeport on the beautiful Tres-Palacios Bay,
Look down on the mists, the toil and the fray,
And with a smile on your face and faith in your soul,
To make Palacios and Collegeport forever your goal,
As other cities are crushed, and others may wear,
On their records the emblems of doubt and despair,
Palacios and Collegeport shall win, standing stalwart and true,
For “ACHIEVE” is the word that will bring these things through.


When Palacios and Collegeport, worn, weary and old,
Look backwards on years their success having been told;
Look backward to that word faith, and a promise to do more,
For their cities by the sea, as in days of yore;
And never let their visions be faded in the briny deep.
Nor the wail of a bugle call them to retreat,
Then its “Hurrah” for Palacios and Collegeport, the sheen of their dew.
The Twin Cities by the sea that always stand stalwart and true.

--Written by Adna E. Phelps, Collegeport, Texas

The citizen of Collegeport and Palacios who dies not mingle with the crowds that congregate at various places, especially in street corners, drug stores and various places, on Saturday nights, misses the best part of his life.

There, are gathered are leaders of our communities, people who are in the forefront of progress, some are business men, some are rice and cotton farmers and many are stock raisers. But whatever their vocation, they are people whom it is pleasant to know. There should be a more marked disposition among these people to be more profuse in praise for their twin cities. Whatever you do and wherever you go, you should talk for the improvement and growth of these two cities.

Folks, we no longer want to be called a village, we want to outgrow that, make these two cities by the sea take on a Metropolitan appearance. Now, with our praise, work and almighty help we can make the twin cities, two of the best looking cities of their size in the south.

Do you know that the friendliness, hospitality and the attitude in general of Palacios and Collegeport toward strangers is commented on frequently.

I am sure if the people in these two communities will work together, that in several years to come they will simply be repaid for the time and money and they are investing for the development of modern ideal cities by the sea.

--By Adna E. Phelps.

Palacios Beacon, September 8, 1927


By Harry Austin Clapp

Collegeport, Texas.


A meadow lark sitting on a fence post, his yellow vest gleaming in the sun, like old gold. An armadillo lumbering along. His efforts to escape are amusing as I attempt to catch him. I let him go his way for I have no desire to sacrifice his life. A big brown rat scurrying through the grass. Two jack rabbits coming from the fig orchard. Four cottontails playing and frisking in front of the house. A bunch of quail feeding at the back door. A few ducks flying high. Guess they are going to see Jim O'Neal and mayhap do some petting on the bay shore. Tiny field mouse sitting on a bunch of grass. Mocking bird feeing its young. Some gulls flying from the bay their white wings flashing in the morning sun. Some killdeers running bout the barn lot. A scizzortail sitting on a fone pole. A pretty bird with fine coloring. Redwing blackbird, its throat bursting with song. Several English sparrows having a family fuss. Just like humans. A road runner strutting across the road to be lost in the grass. A long-legged crane standing in a bunch of rushes. Reminds me of a Japanese picture. Big red fish jumps from the water and falls back with a splash. Rather have him on the table. One goose flying south. Must be an advance agent. He, too, is going to see Jim O'Neal. Just a few morning observations. The man who delights to say untrue things about the community in which he lives will probably always be with us. He is often called a "knocker" but 'it's an ill term for a good knocker is a thing to be desired. He is a builder and a necessity. As for the other bird I have made up my mind that I will no longer waste any esoteric ratiocinations on him. Let him go his way. He never can harm truth. Austin Jenkins home from the wild and wooly west. Wonderful improvement in this fine young man. New family arrives. Room for more, for like hell, we need people. Nine East Texas farmers here looking for locations. Guess they heard of our great cotton crop. Bale to the acre is common. This means more then $120 gross income from one acre of land. Enough to pay for the land three times. What more does man want? Figs howling for rain and Sam Sims joining in the chorus but still spraying the trees and incidentally himself. He is nowadays something of a bluebird. Last week my copy read, "Robert Murry turning detecative." The printer evidently thought I could not spell so he corrected it to read detective. Just spoiled one thought. Quite a difference between a "detecative" and a detective. Frances Eisle and Elizabeth Hill leaving for school at Marshall. Girl with a face of pearly whiteness down to the jaw line and then a black stringy neck. Suppose she painted in sections so as to show a contrast. I advise painting to the waistline for then it might fool some people. Louise Walters and Miss Thompson home from a summer of study at the Texas U and ready to fill the young idea full of new ideas. Bob Thompson will escort the kiddies from home to school and return. How time flies. In a few days us box renters will find a slip, "Box Rent Due." Vernor Bowers back on the job after a splendid vacation in foreign parts.


Collegeport Woman's Club going to Gulf to attend the County Federation meet. Wish Dena H. was here to attend. Wonder why the men do not organize a county federation of commercial clubs, meet with each other, discuss county problems and have enjoyable affairs. Gosh, but it is hot this day. Wish I had some of Mrs. Mowery's "Extrasodelicious" ice cream. I enjoy criticism but not always with the same enjoyment do I receive compliments. Criticism most always is sincere but compliments often are mere adulation, praise, flattery, laudation, encomium. This week I have received some compliments and some criticisms as for instance while Mary Louise was in Bay City a woman reader of the Trib asked if she was the daughter of Harry Austin Clapp and on receiving an affirmative reply says, "Tell your father that I enjoy his column and read it first." A woman from San Antonio writes, "We thoroughly enjoy 'Thoughts' and clip them out and send to friends who share our enjoyment." And now comes from the land of the Illini a wow. It makes me think that the writer must be a descendant of the defenders of starved rock. The envelope was addressed to Mr. H. A. Clapp, Collegeport, Matagorda County, Texas, and in the lower corner was inscribed these words, "Expert on Pedal Extremities." You see how impossible it is to keep fame down. I am recognized as an expert. That gives me a real kick. This woman wrote, "We get a great kick out of The Tribune and I cut out all the leg editorials to send you but I never seem to have enough gray matter to send them off with some brilliant remark, but we do enjoy your column. If I should be fortunate enough to ever visit Collegeport I will most certainly cure you of gazing. It isn't decent anyway--where the charms are so boldly displayed they lost their lure--they are much too obvious and when there is no joy of the quest--there is no pleasure in the flaunting. It would seem that the Chinese custom should prevail--that I should go to you for advice--not giving you such necessary counsel, but this is an inverted age. Oh, for the good old hoop-skirt days when Grandads were Grandads, not peeping Toms." I leave it to the Tribune readers if this isn't a regular wowwow. It is impossible for me to vision this woman as having skinny, bow legs or even one leg so am betting money that she has at least two perfectly beautiful legs and I hope she will visit Collegeport and give me opportunity to do some more gazing. It will be good for my failing eyes.


"Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation;

You will not find it among gross people."



The first day of school Louise Walters said, "I take pleasure in giving you 81 in Spanish," and the pupil replied, "Make it 100, Miss Walters, and thoroughly enjoy yourself." Pythagoras, when asked what time was, answered that it was the soul of this world. I read in one of my papers that there need be no worry about the decreasing supply of wood for if our politicians will get their heads together the state of affairs will be remedied. Solid mahogany. Eddie Foy used to sing, "Daddy wouldn't buy me a bow-wow. Daddy wouldn't buy me a bow-wow. He bought a little cat, but I don’t' think much of that for I rather have a bow-wow-wow." I sang the same song but no one answered until this morning when E. L. Hall brought me a dandy pooch. It is from the celebrated Liggett kennels and is out of Queen and by Rusty which insures extra fine breeding. Mostly white with black points, fat as butter and lazy as any regular royal bred bow-wow has a right to be. I have named him "Hell" just because he is a helluva fine pup. He already knows his cognomen and yawns when he hears it. This shows intelligence and the ability to absorb education. I expect him to develop into something more than remarkable, for he has four sturdy legs and a tail. If he does develop I shall write another "Thoughts about a dog" and incur the criticism of one of my good neighbors and perhaps Carey Smith will lost another subscriber. Who knows?


"It’s the running expense that keeps father out of breath."


Jack Holsworth taking a fair one in his "cabaret" to the Gulf game. Tuesday we celebrated a double birthday. Mary Louise was sweet seventeen and her mamma was--I dare not tell, but she has more years to her credit than Mary Louise. We used the birthday gift of a set of new dishes and had guests and good eats and a happy day, but the letter we looked for never came. Suppose Havana is too far away. Well, to make a long story short, two boxes of delicious candy and Doc sent special to me some extra fine seegars. Guess he wanted to get my mind off R. J. R. but the only thing that will do that is for Ben Mowery to sell three bales for two bits. I read in the papers that twenty dollar gold pieces are being put into circulation. There is only one man in this burg prepared and that is Sam Sims. His canvas money pouch is two feel long and strong enough to hold half the treasury reserve. Charles Knot and Elizabeth Bow were married recently. Won't be long before we will have some little bow-knots. Another family moved into town this week but still like that other place we need people. Mrs. Chiles taking her family and some friends to Palacios. E. H. Holsworth being tired of hanging round this burg takes a trip to Galveston. Guess he wants to visit Miss Galvestone but, anyway, he came back and reported a good time. We have a woman in this town with a wonderful sweet face unadorned by artificial paints and powders. She weighs maybe 140 pounds, well formed, sweet, gracious, hair bobbed, of course, but allowed to hang as nature intended it should, in graceful curves. Her bearing is dignified but affable. I notice that as she passes along the street every man stops smoking or chewing his cud for a moment and allows at least one eye to wander, for she is good to look at, the personification of health. Her name? O, guess. Better look in the Trib's educational column. Her name appears at times in the personal column. Better subscribe.

A native grace

Sat fair-proportioned in her polished limbs,

Veiled in a simple robe their best attire,

Beyond the pomp of dress; for loveliness

Needs not the foreign aid of ornament,

But is, when unadorned, adorned the most."

--J. Thompson.


"The maid who modestly conceals

Her beauties, while she hides, reveals;

Give but a glimpse, and fancy draws

Whate'er the Grecian Venus was."

--E. Moore.


Matagorda County Tribune, September 9, 1927


Collegeport Items

Mr. Jack Holsworth sold his herd of some 80 or 85 head of cattle this week.

Mrs. Tom Hale and baby are here visiting her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Fulcher.

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Mundin from Topeka, Kans., are new residents of Collegeport.

Mrs. Holsworth of Collegeport and her guest, Mrs. Morris are visiting Portsmouth this week.

Mr. Berryhill, from Wrightsboro, Texas, is here looking over the field for prospective Pastorship.

The recent rains which we have been having in the last week will be a great benefit to the fig orchards here in producing a heavy fall crop.

A Few Jokes From Collegeport

The early settlers started this country, and it’s those who settle on the first of each month that keeps it going.

Sleepy Girl (to her small brother:) Willie, put Bob Thompson’s hat down; you might damage it. Besides, he will want it in a few minutes.

Cecil McNeal says his automobile was made to carry only five passengers, but it will carry seven in a pinch if they are all well acquainted.

Jack Holsworth of Collegeport says now is the time to take out your insurance. He says, “Take out a policy. One of my customers broke her arm last week, and we paid her $98. You may be the lucky one tomorrow.”

Many a home in Collegeport is like a radio,
That’s why you see so many grieving.
The Missus broadcasts night and day,
And Hubby does the receiving.

Palacios Beacon, September 15, 1927


By Harry Austin Clapp

Collegeport, Texas.


"Heart on her lips, and soul within her eyes,

Soft as her clime, and sunny as her skies."



There is no doubt in my mind that when Byron wrote these words he was thinking of Collegeport else where did he get the inspiration? Climate is the one great and unchangeable factor in the development of any country. We can build up poor soil, we can get along fairly well with poor water but climate such as is enjoyed in the Texas MIDCOAST and especially in and about the town of Collegeport is the greatest blessing which God can grant to any people. Our good friend, Noah Webster, defines climate as "the condition of a place in relation to various phenomena of the atmosphere, as temperature, moisture, etc., especially as they affect animal or vegetable life."


Shakespeare says in his poetic way that climate is "a place to dwell."


Doctor Van Wormer, president of the Collegeport Fig and Orchards Company, visited here this week inspecting the work of Sam Sims and the orchards and expressed himself well pleased. I talked with him for an hour and was impressed with his modesty, honesty of purpose, conservatism, sincerity. He is ambitious for the community but his ambition is not the sort that "o'er leaps itself and falls on t'other side." He has a big contact on his hand, the largeness of which he fully appreciates but he intends to pull through and that means better times for us burghers. He caught a red fish four pounds. Anyway, it was a whale of a fish for it bent his pole double and almost pulled him into the bay. Springfield folks are hereby advised to take a good dose of salt when they listen to his fish stories. He will sure tell some whoppers. He hung onto a gar six feet long but it bit one of the piles in two places and ran away. We have nothing to lose and some good things to gain. Wish I might repeat many of the items he mentioned as being on the card for the progress and development of the Collegeport district. Said he met Burton Hurd and Burton told him that while he was forced to live in Chicago his heart was in Collegeport and he intended to come back and the Lord hasten the day is my prayer. Of course we want him to bring Dena H. along. Climate is immutable. God made, God given and without the wonderful climate none of us would care to exist in this country. Thank God that under his law it is unchangeable, guaranteed for every day and every year.

"That by the immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation."--Heb. v. 18.


Any man can build up the poorest of soils and this fact has been proven by the Illinois experiment station. Any man can utilize water, poor as it may be in quality, and manage to exist but no man can handle these factors unless he has a climate that matching his own intelligent powers will enable him to change these other conditions. Milton writing about climate has this to say, "Immutable, immortal, infinite, Eternal King," and 'tis the truth. The writer has lived here for nineteen years and has carefully observed climatic conditions, for several years being a volunteer weather observer. The past summer he has watched the thermometer closely. Three times, perhaps four to be safe, the temperature has risen to 94. This, of course, taken in the shade. These temperatures all the time being tempered with the salty, cooling breezes from a thousand miles of smiling seas has given us this wonderful climate that makes us believe that we are favored by the gods. Who can live here summer and winter for several seasons and desire another climate? When people of the North are shivering in 15 below we have balmy skies and very seldom does the temperature fall below 25 above. Sometimes it goes below, not often, but when it does it is for a day or two and quickly swings back to normal which in the winter season runs from 35 to 50 or more. Oh, yes, God has been good to us in climate and that is one reason, aye the principal reason why we raise a bale of cotton to the acre, why figs grow to the greatest perfection, why tomatoes acquire a color and flavor unknown outside this particular one, why cotton has a longer and stronger staple, why grass grows the year round supplying pastures when less favored sections are devoid of feed or any sort, why watermelons and cantaloupes are juicier, sweeter and acquire wondrous size as proven by the melons grown by Carl Boeker that weighed almost but not quite, one hundred pounds of sugary, honeyed sweetness; why roses and flowers of all kinds bloom the year round; why semi-tropical plants thrive and in many cases fruit. In a few words, 'tis a wondrous climate. The climate supplies air so clean, pure and clear that we have high visibility with the present style of female dress. This alone should appeal to the grand army of rubberers who live in the North.


"Sweet is the breath or morn, her rising sweet

With charm of earliest birds; pleasant spreads

When first on this delightful land he spreads

His orient beams, on herb, tree, fruit and flower,

Glistening with dew."                        --Milton.


E. L. Hall hunting for a knock in his Dodge motor which is elusive, baffling, frustrating, thwarting, foiling. Any one knowing how to find such a knock kindly send information to E. L. Hall and receive generous reward. Mary Louise buying groceries. Oscar Chapin down Sunday to shave the town. He said that so far as he could observe cotton and rice farmers got their money easily but he had to do considerable scraping to get his. Guess we have others who do the same. Wonder where Ora is? Woman's Club holding a reception for the school teachers at Mrs. Liggett's. Around 140 pound of fat coming in twice each week. Pretty fair but not enough to supply the public with Morning Glory butter. Eight farmers from East Texas have found locations in and near by Collegeport. R. H. Munden arrived with family and will build a house and barn on the farm owned by Dr. H. M. Hittner, of Kansas City. Several other buildings projected. I do not know whether there are any houses in hell or not but we need not only houses but people to dwell in them. A woman of this community, a recent arrival, told me the other day that this was the most God-forsaken place she had ever seen. The poor woman knew not of what she spoke. God never forsakes any portion of this globe. He is at the north pole and the south, at the equator, in the temperate zones, in every clime and He is certainly in Collegeport as most of us can testify from abundance of evidence.


Everyone sympathizes with the chronic grouch when he has to be by himself. Mrs. E. H. Holsworth giving an afternoon reception in honor of Mrs. T. C. Morris. Ben R. Mowery installing a fountain in his sunken garden. All the boys and girls are singing "will you meet me at the fountain?" This week we lost one family and Houston gained one. After weeks of dry weather we have the welcome rain and I think of "The Midnight Mass" by Longfellow.


"The hooded clouds, like friars,

Tell their beads in drops of rain."


The other week I wrote that the death rate for Collegeport was very small being only one per person and now comes a local Dumdora with the remark that the percentage of airplane accidents is also very small--only one to a person. If she don't watch out she will be pinched some day for snuggling. This wonderful climate also produces smart folks. Some of my Springfield readers do not understand about this "nine-foot sidewalk" and so I will explain that the term is used in a metaphorical sense, in other words figurative, allegorical, symbolical, if you know what I mean. The nine foot sidewalk means a concrete slab nine feet wide with a shoulder on each side made of gravel and four feet wide thus giving us a seventeen foot road. Rest easy, good people of Springfield, some of these days you can ride into Collegeport on a cement roadway. We hope Gustafson will soon be busy on our nine foot sidewalk. F. L. Jenkins has located eight farm families during the last few weeks and turned seventeen families away because of the lack of housing. The climate, the soil, the water, brought these people to this section and we hope that all make extra good crops in this land of super-superlative climate. F. L. Jenkins is one first-class farmer who year in and year out makes good and as Montaigne says, "The only good histories are those that have been written by the persons themselves who commanded in the affairs whereof they wrote." Hugo [Kundinger] still owns his lots on Central Avenue and better put his pharmacy on wheels and move back. If he does it will mean increased sales of the "sodelicious" ice cream. Good as it is, not all will walk ten miles to obtain it, when that "extrasodelicious" grows on the bay shore. Mrs. Welsby making deviled eggs. Naughty, naughty they must be to have such a name. Sam Sims with his truck stuck in the mud. Wonder if he said xyesazftd? These rains sure make the figs look up and smile and that means extra heavy fruiting and gobs of that most delicious of fruits for Northern folks to enjoy. Thermometer stands at eighty this day.

"Every tinkle on the shingles

Has an echo in my heart;

And a thousand dreamy fancies

Into busy being start,

And a thousand recollections

Weave their air-threads into woof,

As I listen to the patter

Of the rain upon the roof.


Now in memory comes my mother,

As she used, in years agone,

To regard the darling dreamers

Ere she left them till the dawn;

So I see her leaning o'er me,

As I list to this refrain

Which is played upon the shingles

By the patter of the rain." --Contes Kinney.


Matagorda County Tribune, September 16, 1927


Collegeport Items.

Mrs. G. S. Welsby has rented her farm and will live on the Van Ness place during the next few months.

Mrs. Emmit Chiles and children drove to Lane City where she will visit her mother for a few days.

Collegeport Jokes

All men are born free and equal, but some get married.

If women wore trousers, they’d get up in the middle of the night and steal money from themselves.

John Merck wants to know what a hero is. I guess we will have to tell him. A hero is a man who will kick his mother-in-law on the shin and not run.

Miss Crystal Thompson, while attending the ball game at Palacios Sunday afternoon, unfortunately got in the path of a struck ball and was hit on the bounce.

Quite matchless are her dark brown iiiiiiiiii,
She talks with perfect cccccccc,
And when I tell her she is yyyyyyy
She says I am a tttttttttt..

Palacios Beacon, September 22, 1927

Thoughts on Silence


By Harry Austin Clapp








Editor's Note: Mr. Clapp writes that he thinks his readers will agree that "Thoughts on Silence" is about the best thing he has offered.


Matagorda County Tribune, September 23, 1927

Fig Packing Plant to Start at Collegeport

Collegeport, Sept. 27.—Recent rains have caused the rapid ripening of figs and the cannery of the Collegeport Fig Orchards Company opens Monday. Officials of the company state that the entire pack has been sold in advance and will be shipped in Illinois in five-gallon cans.—Bay City Tribune.

Palacios Beacon, September 29 1927


By Harry Austin Clapp

Collegeport, Texas.


[Portions about Joseph in the Bible and Joseph Garibaldi deleted.]


Mrs. Merck sitting in her car writing to her children. If Dean and John would take the jump all of her kiddos would be safe on the sea of matrimony. Mrs. Chiles taking her family and Mary Louise to Lane City for the week-end. Bob Thompson bringing in the school kids. Nine more East Texas men here looking for locations. Geo. Welsby rents his farm and will join the ranks of agriculturists. The church congregation undecided as to who they will call as a pastor. Oscar Chapin scraped up several dollars Sunday. Children's party at the Ackerman's Saturday. Mrs. Chiles driving to Palacios to trade. Wonder why the Lord don't sick some man onto us as a groceryman. We need a gin to care for the big cotton crop that will be put in next season. Carl Boeker building several houses on the river lands. Sam Sims and his crew with Mesdames Sims and Boeker as bosses beautifying the library grounds. It is already the beauty spot of the burg. Mr. Crane handing out school supplies and taking in the coin. Every time one breaks an arm or leg, Jack Holsworth pays $98.00. Business should be good for there are many who would break both legs for that sum. Mr. and Mrs. Corse spending the weekend with their daughter at Blessing. Too far to walk so they auto. The fig company truck all dolled up with a new coat of paint. That's nothing for Sam Sims always looks after equipment. Figs this season although late have taken on extra quality, seem to be sweeter. Guess it's because of the extra care given them by the management, spraying, pruning, hoeing. I know of no fruit tree that loves individual attention as does the fig. It enjoys petting and in this it is shared by some of our other babes. Almost had a tragedy in my home the other day. The miserable wretch who is my wife found a note which read, "With a world of love, Anna." Diving dolphins, what a time I had explaining that it was written by a niece. Sam Sims brought me a bucket of those "figues" as the French would say and as I absorbed a few of them I thought how is it possible for so much honeyed sweetness to be wrapped up in such a small fruit but knowing that with God all things are possible I spent no more time thinking. Shakespeare said, "A fig for Peter," but in this case it was a bucket of figs for Harry or Sam. All things come to the fellow who waits and now I have been accused of being a knocker. Ye gods! what must a man do to be saved? Regardless of criticism I shall continue to write the truth as I see it for it is my belief that truth never harms any person, any country, any people. Mrs. Ashe's auto stalled. The train crew absorbing their morning stimulant at the Terminal café. A big sow running loose and rooting up the flowers and plants recently set out by Mesdames Boeker and Sims. The laws of Texas provide a way to stop such destruction. Paul Braden and Mary Louise delivering kerosene and gas. A. D. Phelps is some poet. Fig company giving the orchards another combing and tickling the trees which they enjoy as is shown by daily improvement. If a finer, sweeter, more profitable fruit grows I have never see it. Wish our Northern folks could come down here, take a stroll through the orchards and eat the fruit fresh from the trees. Am waiting patiently for criticisms on "Thoughts about Silence." Some guy will find fault with it. Carl Boeker getting ready to supply wood. Bout time, is my guess. Heard the fig whistle blow and thinking a fire had started went over only to find North Cable cleaning up after Friday's run and Sam Sims licking the sweet syrup out of the cooking vats. I had some of the lickings and 'twas good dope. Sunday School gave stunts Friday night and some were funny enough to cause a person to laugh. One did not reach the audience until all the characters were off stage, then it took. Better to be took late than never to be took. Mrs. Mowery spoiled a batch of that "extrasodelicious" cream with salt. Sixty days in jail for such crime would be mild punishment. Whenever Oscar Chapin needs extra money he runs his gas buggy down here and scrapes it up. E. L. Hall having a birthday party at Mrs. Liggetts. Ice cream and among the trimmings a big angel food cake with, O, I can't say how many candles but more than sixteen.


Last week a cow swiped my glasses from my face with her tail switching and slamming them up against the barn door I was blind for six days. This caused me to write that wonderful inspiration, "Thoughts on Silence," which appeared in last week's Trib. I told Carey that it would not peeve me if he considered space too valuable. He replied that he considered it one of the best things he had ever published and I agree with him. If most of us would read that story and practice its teachings the world would be saved heaps of strife, heartaches and there would be fewer divorces. This week's offering is dribble compared with it. Anyway, we put up at home with the help of the miserable wretch forty-eight jars of figs and Sam Sims with the help of a half dozen ladies put up many gallons. The fruit this year is excellent and ought to please the dainty palates of those up North who will absorb them. Mrs. Liggett making a mysterious drink at the Sunday School entertainment. Frank King said it had quite a tasty taste and took another. I joined him for 'twas good liquor even if Mesdames Carrick and Clapp seemed not to agree with me. Wonder what has become of D. P. Moore. Don't see his big "ad" any more. It appeared in same place and looked like a friend to me.


Matagorda County Tribune, September 30, 1927



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