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Collegeport Articles


February, 1934


By Harry Austin Clapp


[Local information taken from longer article.]


We need and must have a code that will regulate skirts. Skirts are now much too low and if their deflation keeps on, the time will soon be here when lovers of legs will have to marry in order to gaze upon a pair of legs, and because before marriage they are not visible, some fellows are due to wake up and find themselves gazing at a pair of knock knees or bows. This is a terrible thing to contemplate and I am this week writing our president, urging him to fix up a code for skirts that will give us fellows some chance before we get set in the matrimonial set.


Received a letter from Gen. Hugh S. Johnson complimenting our local board on the very efficient work we have done. Of course he does not know we have done nothing, but Hugh likes to hand out compliments and we enjoy reading them.


From a woman reader of the Tribune I received this beautiful bouquet: "I congratulate you on your latest accomplishment and perhaps it is not the latest for you are always finding something to do in your corner of the world, always building mouse traps. However, I refer to the act of securing the depot for the use of the public in Collegeport. Do you have rooms in your heart for your friends? And do you furnish those rooms with surroundings to suit? I have one room that has a real cozy, homey, fireplace corner, around that center I always group the 'Homecrofters.'" Glowing with warm hearts such letters give us happiness. And from Austin comes another: "And an angel said unto them, 'Fear not for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy.' My dear friends--how my spirit responded to the spirits of you both when we met; and ever since I have remembered you both with a warm glow of love. Let us seek to honor God this year with a program that will be challenging to the highest thoughts of us all." Reading this our hearts are filled with the sweet perfume of this woman's wonderful soul.


Many others have been received during the past weeks and not one brickbat, each a beautiful, sweet, gorgeous bloom.


The other morning, with a heavy fog covering the earth and causing poor visibility, I found that during the night innumerable spiders had been busy spinning their silky webs. In hundreds of bushes and grass plots, these dainty webs hung like lace handkerchiefs placed out to dry. Some of them were ten to twelve inches in diameter, each one well staid and with guy lines which ran out on several sides. In the center hung the lace hanky. Examining them, I was surprised to find that although each one had been constructed on the same plan, no two were exactly alike in pattern.


Then the spiders had flung to the breeze long streamers that floated until the end found attachment. I measured one and found it to be about one hundred feet long, just a light silken cord, that glistened in the morning like a silver cable. Wonderful little insects these spiders. Presently I was startled by a whirring roar and twelve quail jumped into the air, almost from under my feet. Lucky birds to escape the machine guns of the past season. Here comes a land tortoise, lumbering along carrying his house on his back. When I stopped his travels, he simply shut up the front door and waited with patience my departure.


A small dog came romping from the fog and jumped in fellowship, covering my trousers with slime from his muddy feet. He was such a good fellow that I spent several minutes romping with him. I enjoy the companionship of good dogs. Down by the slough stood a big heron. He looked as though he had just stepped from a Japanese picture. Approaching closer, he looked me over and deciding that I was not friendly, he flapped his wings and soared away, lost in the fog.


Way up in the sky some place out of sight, a flock of geese honked their way to the South. If warm weather continues, it will not be long before mother nature's breast will be covered with flowers. I enjoy the spring time, for it reminds me of the beginning of life. Flowers, grasses shoot up, gloom and in the breeze for a plant's life, fade, reproduce their kind and go back to earth. Human life does the same and the life that leaves something of worth has not lived in vain.


The dredge Saratoga has completed the channel to a depth of 4 1/2 feet and a width of one hundred fifty feet at surface and ships may now tie up at the bank and discharge cargoes. A crew of about fifteen men are busy casting parts which will be used for building the seawall.


Some bums broke into the railroad station building, moved in a half oil barrel, a stock of wood and proceeded to set up housekeeping. They succeeded in burning a hole in the floor of the Negro waiting room. We shall be in luck if this building is not destroyed before it can be moved.


Vernon Hurd is now in charge of the construction of sanitary provios in this precinct. About four men will be employed. Mrs. E. A. McCune is authorized to take orders for these provios and is anxious that all who desire these sanitary equipments notify her at once.


Our postmaster, because of his official position, not only sees all, hears all, but knows all. When he found the roof of the government building leaking like the proverbial riddle, he conceived the idea of putting in a sub roof (sub means under). This sub roof hangs about a foot below the real roof and is made with sheets of galvanized iron. It collects all roof leakage and shoots it to the rear of the room where it runs down onto the floor and escapes. The beauty of the plan is that during a heavy rain, the postmaster desiring to wash his hands, face or to take a complete bath, needs to but to get under the shower and viola' the rest is done.


Mrs. Lutie Ramsey has returned to the home farm. It now looks like a stock farm, but I am informed that the owner will transform it into a hen farm, which was formerly a very prosperous business. She may also raise sweet potatoes as well as sweet peas. Us Homecrofters are very glad to have her with us again after her long absence.


The Girl Reserves plan on giving a minstrel show Friday night. Miss Rosalie Nelson is to be the interlocutor. The dictionary tells me that an interlocutor is "one who takes part in a dialogue or conversation, a talker." I am unable to imagine Rosalie filling the bill if required to do much chatter. The interlocutor is the fellow who says "Gentlemen, be seated." Friday night Rosalie will say "Girls be seated." Talking and conversation will be carried on by bones and tambos.


This burg is out of R. J. R. and I am obliged to smoke Country Gentleman. It is like most Country Gentlemen, for it does not work.


Dean Merck, secretary of the local cotton board, informs me that up to date not one cotton form has been returned for correction. Good stuff.


I like sea and detective tales, railroad constructions and racket stories, but I do not like painted lips. the other day, thinking to give a girl saintly grandfather kiss, I was surprised to find that she returned my kiss with one of those soft, languorous, clinging, glamorous, hot, blistering kisses like Dorothy Dalton and Theda Bara used to dispense. Well, so far all to be good, but when I arrived home, the miserable wretch said "what in the world is on your face?" She used her hanky and it showed my guilt in painted red. By the Sacred Blind Robin, I was in a mess and any one who says that "confession is good for the soul" is one plain liar. It was not good for my soul. After this, I shall wipe pouting lips before I proceed and if they do not pout an invitation, I shall stop right there. Now don't get the impression that I do not like kisses, for that is where I am completely at home.


I like chili con carne, enchiladas, tortillas, sopa de aroz and chiltipiquins, but I do not like the idea of our government repudiating the promise to pay in "gold of the present weight and fineness," when the principal of bonds becomes due. It was an indecent and vicious act and encourages individuals and corporations to repudiate their promises. When a government has no honor, the virtue becomes scarce among the people.


This string is the result of pasture soliture [solitude?]. The miserable wretch read in and said "well I guess you better stay in the house after this."


The Matagorda County Tribune, February 1, 1934


Bay View High School Notes


Editor-in-chief - Auldine Williams

Ass't. Editor - Emma Kucher

Ass't. Editor - Earline Hill


Hands off the public schools! They stand

For what is highest in this land;

And they must stand, as they have stood.

To Jew and Gentile, rich and poor

They are the ever open door

To that condition which must be

If we expect safe guaranty

To freedom and those rights of man

Which place this nation on the van

Of progress and maintain it there.

Their lamps of knowledge, shining fair

In town and country, everywhere,

Dispel the darkness and their light

Burns for the everlasting right--

That right that no sect dares dispute,

Nor any doctrine substitute

Some theologic sham to take

The place of what is God's own make

By wooded vales and meady downs

The schoolhouse stands on sacred sod.

The shrine and symbol of a God

Whose truths, unchanging and divine

In unity forever shine.

And there the children of all lands

And varying faiths, join brother hands

In that one faith, the creed of creeds

Man's betterment in all his needs.

--William J. Lampton, Texas Outlook.


The School Hits.


Our school work is sailing along just fine. The exams are over, but of course, our teachers surprise us every once in a while with a little "pop Quizz."


We, the science class, really enjoy laboratory work--and also the "Quizzes." We'll admit that there isn't anyone who makes below the "red line."


Things We Can Do Without.


Annette's Houston news.

Blanch's giggles.

Rosalie's history questions.

Georgia's recitations.

Noel's whistling.

Auldine's singing.

Wawn [Fawn?] and her "pecans."


Sophomore News.


We are sorry that "Goose" has quit school this year, but we are glad that he expects to come again next year.


Believe It or Not.


It is still muddy.

Clara got her history exam paper corrected.

Doodle still chews his fountain pen.

Wade stayed at home because he had to take a bath.

Irwon is falling for Mahatma Ghandi.

Algebra is like a muddy road--there are hard and soft places in both.


Freshman News.

The "Fish" are glad to state that they have just completed a mid-term examination in English and will begin the study of literature Monday. After having begun commercial geography we find that it is very disgusting.


We regret that Wanda Caldwell has so far to go to reach school and can only attend on fair days.


Friendly Reminders.


Robert, will you kindly watch yourself when around Guy?

Lottie Mae, don't forget your coat hereafter.

George Alice, study your commercial geography.


Collegeport Girl Reserves.


Friday Night, Feb. 2, the Collegeport Girl Reserves, with the assistance of the Little Pals presented the Alabama Minstrels. At 7:50, the Minstrels were ready to make their appearance. Waiting ten minutes to give the crowd plenty of time they became very anxious.


As a special feature of the evening, the girls gave away a beautiful quilt, which they had tacked out. After the program, rendered by the Minstrels, pies and coffee were sold. A neat sum was realized. We can now see our way clear for the annual event in the spring--the Girl Reserve Senior Banquet.


We wish to take this opportunity to thank everyone for your kind attention and patronage. The Girl Reserves appreciate the loyal support rallied to them.


The Matagorda County Tribune, Thursday, February 8, 1934



By Harry Austin Clapp


[Local information taken from longer article.]


Judge Seth Corse has a seedling peach tree about five years old. It has born fruit for the past three years. Last fall it bloomed and now has fruit on it almost ready to pick. The fruit is about two inches in diameter and bears a beautiful blush on the sunny side.


Mr. and Mrs. Frank Moore of Gulf were here Monday to see us Homecrofters. Mr. Moore is with the Texas Gulf Sulphur Company in the traffic department. This does not mean that he is a cop or even a flat foot. Mrs. Moore complimented me on my column but said "I do not enjoy what you write about legs." Mr. Moore with a twinkle in his left eye said "I like to read abut legs and I like to look at 'em." Just a difference in tastes. I hope these fine folk will come down again when the road to Homecroft is not boggy and make us a real visit for I want them to see the miserable wretch.


Just received the following:


Missouri Pacific Lines

Houston, Texas


January 24, 1934


Mr. H. A. Clapp

Collegeport, Texas


Dear Mr. Clapp: I have your letter of January 17, thanking us for the donation of the depot at Collegeport to the Collegeport Industrial League, which when remodeled and reopened will be known as "Mopac House."


If you will be kind enough to let us know in advance when you have your house warming, we will arrange to have a Missouri Pacific representative present.


With kindest personal regards, I remain,


Yours very truly,


D. C. Pace

Land and Industrial Commissioner.


I'll say, we will have a Missouri Pacific man present and at the house warming we will give our community thanks in addition to the personal thanks already sent.


Here is an epistle from the miller who operates a mill on the banks of the Nueces. This mill grinds excellent grist, which enriches the blood streams of the entire Gulf Coast.


Texas Gulf Sulphur Company

Roy Miller

Director of Public Relations

Houston, Texas


January 31, 1934


Mr. Harry A. Clapp

Collegeport, Texas


Dear Harry:


Answering your letter of the 16th instant, it gives me pleasure to enclose herewith in behalf of our company and its officers [a] voucher in the sum of $100 as a contribution to assist in repairing the community house in Collegeport, which we trust will be accepted with the assurance of our very best wishes.


Sincerely yours,


Roy Miller


The voucher has been turned over to Hugo Kundinger, treasurer, Collegeport Industrial League and Mr. Miller and Sulphur Company have received a letter of thanks for the generous aid. When Mopac House is opened, we hope that Roy Miller and other officers of the Sulphur Company may be present and at that time receive the thanks of the community and yet we have those who consider that the company is a soulless corporation. The Texas Gulf Sulphur Company is not a close corporation composed of grasping men, but has more than 45,000 holders of its securities and among them are widows, orphans, insurance companies, trust companies, each individual reached and participating in the business of the company being endowed with a soul. The company has always born a part of the life of this county. It has paid its taxes and it has complimented and aided practically every school and organization in the county. In this way it has distributed thousands of dollars to enrich the lives of our people. We, therefore, give these 45,000 souls our hearty thanks for the generous contribution.


There are many beautiful flowers filling the air with perfume that I am unable to understand why some people delight in sniffing the odors of noxious weeds.


Every little while we make records in our guest book in red ink. We did that on Friday for we had the pleasure of having as guests, Mrs. Claire F. Pollard, county superintendent of schools, her daughter, Katherine, and her niece, Helen Pollard of Duncan, Okla. Katherine is an excellent cook and in the absence of the miserable wretch, she took over the kitchen and soon had a gorgeous lunch ready for serving. Helen is a red-head and I delight in red-heads, so when I take a plane to Chicago, I shall fly over Duncan and look for a bright red-marker and then I will know that below is Duncan and will ask the pilot to steer the ship towards the signal. Our party lasted until after dinner and then they attended the Girl Reserve Minstrel show at the Community House. Grand day for me for I enjoy having gals about me.


Some of our citizens who have enjoyed vast experiences as engineers claim that the construction of the seawall is much too light and I was under the same impression, but I am informed by what I consider competent authority that the best engineers of the state have passed on the plans and specifications and endorsed them. I am informed that many miles of similar construction have withstood the seas from the open Atlantic and that there need be no fears from our community. I believe the engineer in charge knows what he is doing. He understands that a failure will be a blot on his record and in my opinion we better use a certain portion of common sense and belief in an accredited engineer, than to listen to the arguments and prophecies of those who never have had any experience in engineering projects, except in sidewalk conversation. No man handicapped with a wooden leg is expected to understand every thing.


It would be safe for me to bet that the miserable wretch has threatened to leave me at least a thousand times but she never has until Saturday night when after we had retired, a car came into the yard or I better state into the mud hole near the culvert and stopped. There it stayed until midnight and when it left, it took my miserable wretch along. I am alone hoping some beautiful girl will come and keep house with me.


She, whom some call my wife, is in San Antonio having a swell time with Mary Louise. I am not worrying for every one knows that the cat always comes back and so in a few days my frau will be home and life will once more take on beautiful tints and Homecroft become more attractive. A good woman is God's great blessing.


The Matagorda County Tribune, Thursday, February 8, 1934


Matagorda Co. C. E.s Meet Collegeport

The meeting of the Matagorda County Christian Endeavor Union at Collegeport Monday night, was unusually enjoyable in its varied program, under the direction of Mrs. Dick Corporon of that city.

Games, aside from a short business session, formed the entire evening’s entertainment and the spirit traditional with all such Christian Endeavor gathering, was at its best. That of enthusiasm and friendly rivalry.

During the business session, the next meet was invited to Bay City, March 5. A nominating committee, consisting of Nancy Price, Gertrude Koerber, both of Palacios; Mrs. Dick Corporon, Collegeport; John Logan, Blessing and George Schultz, Bay City, were appointed by the president, Evaline Marshall and asked to report at Bay City meeting in March.

Seniors of Bay City and intermediates tied with 102 per cent for the Morris attendance cup, but upon drawing matches, the seniors were announced winners. Palacios Juniors, one of the finest societies in the state, according to the Texas News, official C. E. paper, were winners for the second time of the junior cup with 115 per cent. The total attendance at the Collegeport meeting numbering in all near 80.

Following the business meeting, sandwiches, cake and cocoa were served by the Ladies Auxiliary of the hostess city, Collegeport.—C. E. Reporter, Evaline Marshall.

Matagorda County Tribune, February 8, 1934



The Collegeport Woman's Club held their monthly meeting in the library Thursday afternoon. Mrs. Guyer, a newcomer in our midst was proposed and accepted as a member. Mrs. H. A. Clapp was elected librarian and Mrs. McCune assistant librarian.


Mrs. A. G. Hunt announced the engagement of her daughter, Miss Lera to Mr. Collins who came to this place recently from Cincinnati, Ohio at the meeting of the Woman's Union held in the home of Mrs. Heisey, last week. Several social events are planned in her honor.


Mr. and Mrs. Manford Foster spent the past week in Houston buying furniture for the home they are furnishing here.


Mr. H. E. Miller and family have moved to the Cottingham cottage.


Mrs. Clifford Slife and Mrs. Hugh Patterson and children spent Sunday as guests of their parents, Mr. and Mrs. J. L. Conover.


Mr. and Mrs. Jack Holsworth spent Saturday in Bay City. Mrs. Holsworth stopped over in Markham to spend some time with her parents there.


Mrs. Ernest Peddy and children of San Marcos have been spending the past week with Mrs. Peddy's sister, Mrs. Frank King and family. She is now visiting with her mother, Mrs. Saunders in Markham.


Mr. E. A. McCune was a business caller in Bay City Monday.


Mrs. H. A. Clapp accompanied Mrs. Martin, county nurse to San Antonio where Mrs. Martin was called on business. While in San Antonio, she visited her daughter, Mary Louise and later went to Austin and then back to Palacios.


The Girl Reserves of Collegeport will give a minstrel at Wadsworth, Friday night, Feb. 16.


Home Demonstration Club Meets


The Collegeport Home demonstration club met at the home of Mrs. Dickson Tuesday, February 13 with 15 members and one visitor present. Mrs. King, president, had charge of the meeting and the following members reported food canned,

Mrs. King, 316 No. 2 cans - 10 soap

Mrs. Hunt, No. 2 cans - 100 sausage and pork, 15 pounds soap

Mrs. Franzen, 28 No. 2 cans

Mrs. Ackerman, 358 No. 2 cans and 125 ponds lard, 50 pounds cured bacon

Mrs. Nelson, 84 No. 2 cans, 16 pounds lard, 10 pounds cured pork

Mrs. Louis Walters, 266 No. 2 cans

Mrs. Chas. Williams, 156 No. 2 cans

Mrs. Wright, 1 braided rug


Mrs. Sides gave a demonstration of rug making. The members made out the year books and the program for the year.


Mrs. Guyer became a member and she with the following other members were present: Mrs. King, Mrs. Dickson, Mrs. Nelson, Mrs. Wright, Mrs. Franzen, Mrs. D. Corporon, Mrs. Chas Williams, Mrs. Holsworth, Mrs. Boeker, Mrs. McCune, Mrs. D. Merck, Mrs. Anna Crane, Mrs. Jerry Wells, Mrs. A. G. Hunt and Mrs. Sides, home demonstration agent. The next meeting will be February 27 at the home of Mrs. Nelson. The program will be on dyeing.


The Matagorda County Tribune, Thursday, February 15, 1934



By Harry Austin Clapp


[Local information taken from longer article.]


The Tribune's Blessing correspondent has given some interesting and instructive information about the school situation in that district. One article dealt, in an exhaustive manner, with the finances of the district, salaries paid, cost of truck service, present and prospective income and how they plan to handle the bond situation. This week is presented a vision of a finer, better, wider school, which will teach something the pupil may turn into dollars instead of the usual grind over the ancient history, smatterings of chemistry, et cetera. I wish some one of our school board would give us such a statement.


None of us and that includes the trustees, knows much about our financial condition. They never have known. I have frequently asked for information and no trustee has ever been able to give a satisfactory reply. They do not know and yet they are being trusted to handle several thousand dollars each year and to disburse a bond issue of $30,000, a sum in excess of their personal worth. Will they make reply to my request for information, inside information, facts? They will not.


The pit type privios are an advance in sanitation. They are odor-less, insect-proof and so comfortable that many of our people will simply move into them for permanent quarters.


Mrs. Carl Boeker informs me that she considers thirteen guests at a table not only unfortunate, but unlucky.


I do not know which members of the board of trustees complete terms this year. I asked Trustee Oompaugh and he did not know what terms expired, so I asked the same question of Trustee Boombaugh and he could give no definite information, but it appears that we will be allowed to vote for about four and it further appears that it is time to begin looking up first class material, if we...[next line is missing]


Few counties are favored with such a priceless gem. Saturday a health nurse assisted in a confinement case and a nice child was delivered. The next morning, the nurse drove two hundred miles in the interest of a situation of value to her county. Tuesday she was in Austin to meet with members of the state board of health to request additional service for her county. Tuesday night she arrived home tired and worn out. To bed at nine p. m. and to much needed rest. At ten o'clock, a knock at the door and a distressed voice of a father begged that she come at once, the baby was in convulsions. In three minutes she was on the way and finding the baby in great distress, it was taken with the father in the auto of the nurse to a hospital at the county seat. There the good doctor performed a simple operation which relieved the distressing condition. The baby slept. At 2:30 a. m., the child was brought home and delivered to its mother and the nurse once more sought her bed of rest. A life had been saved. But after all, it was just an episode in the daily life of a county health nurse.


Ruth Boeker is a student in a San Antonio Beauty Studio and soon as she completes the course, will open a de luxe beauty salon in the same city. Ruth has the beauty and personality to make a success of her future business.


Mrs. Amy Hall, the Misses Ruth and Naomi Harrison and Ouida Gray were here Thursday inspecting the seawall. They made no comments, but departed looking very wise, probably infection caught from some of our local engineers.


The Woman's Club held the regular months meeting in the library with eleven present. The report of the secretary and librarian for the past year was read and received and considerable routine business transacted. The sum of five dollars was voted to the librarian with which to buy some new books.


Last week I told you that the cat would come back and she did and now I have my miserable wretch back home and life picks up, takes on a rosier tint, looks pleasant and wonderful. It takes a fine woman to produce such effects.


Mrs. Lutie Ramsey has moved into her poultry farm home and soon the sound of the incubator will fill the land in that neighborhood and after that the peep, peep, peep of chicks. I hope she produces some radishes, tomatoes and sweet potatoes.


If you never enjoyed a slice of Mrs. Liggett's fresh apple pie, you have missed something grand. Eat a slice of that glorious concoction and your thoughts will be filled with upper and lower crust and filler.


The Matagorda County Tribune, Thursday, February 15, 1934


Bay View School Notes


[Local information taken from longer article.]


Senior Notes.

We are now studying the Victorian age in literature. It had proved to be rather difficult, but interesting. We find it interesting because our favorite writers--Tennyson, Browning, Carlyle and Thackeray--are included in this age. Then too, it is the last chapter.


Helpful Advice.


Emma, you'd learn more if you'd re-read the poem instead of falling in love with the poets.

Georgia, you'd do better if you'd study more and stop giggling and getting into mischief.


Junior Notes.


Can You Imagine--

Rosalie not calling everyone Noel?

Billie not fighting for her desk?

Fawn not arguing with Mr. White?

Georgia not blushing when Mr. Curtis admires the way she rolls her hose?

Rosalie not asking Miss Bell questions?

Auldine not fussing over her grade?

Noel not smiling at Georgia?

Blanch not wanting to go to Markham?

Earlene not talking to Cotton?

Emma not threatening to stay home from [a] basketball game?

Annette not ending her debates with "That's all?"


We are studying literature now in English. It gets harder all the time or are we just getting dumber? Georgia, as usual, knows all the geometry, but even Auldine and Annette are answering a question now and then. Wonder what makes them so bright?


Sophomore Notes.


The Sophs have come to the conclusion that if English grammar were a Western Story or True Romance, Miss Bell could depend upon them all being A1 students.


Mr. Curtis: Why is the mountain breeze greater than the valley breeze?

Clara: Because there are two mountains and just one valley.


Try to Imagine

Aaron having up his English lesson.

Wade not working on some other lesson during class.

Eldon talking fast or loud.

Irwon without make-up on.

Clara not arguing in commercial geography.

Earlene without spit curls.


Freshman Notes.


We are now studying "Julius Caesar." We like it very much.


Thanks to Mr. Curtis, we are beginning to like commercial geography better, especially the arguments between Clara and Mr. Curtis.


We are finding Spanish very hard to learn now. The class refuses to do more studying than is necessary to get by.


Can You Imagine.

Lottie Mae thinking to bring her notebook to class? She did astound us the other day thinking of it.

Roberta being able to spell "accordion" correctly.




The Collegeport town team matched a game with the Danevang team Feb. 7 on the Palacios Pavilion. Collegeport fought a hard battle and was defeated by two points. The score 15-13.


Girl Reserves.


The Girl Reserves are taking their minstrel to Wadsworth Friday night. The admission is 15c and 10c. Don't forget Friday night, Feb. 6. Everyone invited to come.


The Matagorda County Tribune, Thursday, February 15, 1934



By Harry Austin Clapp


[Local information taken from longer article.]


Mr. Harry Austin Clapp,

The Homecrofters,

Collegeport, Texas.


Dear Harry:


A copy of the Daily Tribune of Bay City, Texas, is before me and I have just finished reading your article "Thoughts About Prayer." [Here Mr. Amburgh gives his personal insights on prayer.]


Mr. Van Amburgh is a writer of books, the publisher of The Silent Partner and a man who as a lecturer has delivered his lecture "How to Fail" more than eight hundred times. He is a Past District Governor of Rotary International for New York and New Jersey. In the Cripple Creek days of 1895-1904, I knew Van well and prized his friendship. Came a blank of thirty years and now I have found him. He is one of my rare and priceless friendship possessions. An added pearl in my string.


While I was connected with the Texas A. & M., I lectured in nearly every agricultural county in Texas, not once did my audiences throw vegetables or stale eggs at me, but now that I have settled down to the quiet life, Gustave Franzen throws cabbage at me. The cabbage he threw Tuesday was one grand fruit about ten inches in diameter and must have weighed close to twenty pounds or less. I caught the cabbage and dared Gustave to throw another my way. Hope he does in about a week.


I have many beautiful sweethearts scattered from Maine to California, but on St. Valentines Day only one of them sent me a Valentine and this is the message it brought me:


"My eyes betray the thing I'd say

When words cannot express it;

I want your heart, and at the start

I may as well confess it."


And so I send this to my Valentine twenty miles from the sea.


"O, Lady B., O, Lady B.

I see your smile

All the live long while

Favors my imagination

Its fascination

Its tantalization

Brings a consternation

And my heart is all a flutter

My language is a stutter

Your eyes betray

What I would say

O, Lady B., O, Lady B.

That I love you may see."

--Fragments From Hack.


Just at this point the miserable wretch yelled from the kitchen "Harry, you must put new lighters on the stove." Doggone it, whyinthehell can't a woman keep quiet when the muse is working?


The twenty-fifth Washington birthday banquet will be held in the community house Thursday night, February 22. The menu will have for its principal speaker several or more beautifully roasted chickens and alongside will be salads, spuds, cakes, pies, ice cream, coffee. This has been an annual event for many years sponsored by the Woman's Union. A swell program will be presented for the delight and edification of the genteel. This banquet presents a fine opportunity for candidates to come and mingle with prospective voters and quite a number of votes might be picked up, so here hopes every candidate will be on hand to eat chicken and to mingle with us Collegesports.


Friday, being the first Friday in Lent, Douglas Whitehead thought that we would like fish and so he went out and brought in eight big flounder that averaged twenty pounds or less. One of them, at least twelve inches long, graced our table and along with it Australian Spinach and young onions from the Liggett garden, so thanks be we had a first class Lenten dinner on the first Friday.


Our folk will remember a former resident, Harry Lewis Eisel, Jr. He is now able to write his full name and I have in my possession a sample. It is as legible as any A.B.C. ever printed in the columns of the Tribune. I congratulate Junior on this accomplishment for it will come in handy some day. I wish to warn him to go slow on what he writes for written word oft times returns and causes consternation. Much better to tell a girl what you think than to write it. Take the advice of one who knows, Harry, Jr., and tell it instead of writing.


The Matagorda County Tribune, Thursday, February 22, 1934




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