United Daughters of the Confederacy
Salyer-Lee Chapter #1417
Virginia Divison

In Memoriam

Ruth Kilgore Hamilton

"Saying Goodbye"

On November 10, 2002 I lost my grandmother, Ruth Kilgore Hamilton. She had been ill for the past few months, but like everyone else I thought I'd have her forever. I had the great privilege of caring for her in the last months before her death.

Toward the end I could feel her moving away from me...leaving on a journey where I couldn't follow. I felt like I had as a small child, when your little legs are so short and everyone walks so fast. You are always calling, "Wait for me, wait for me!" But the harder I called to my grandmother, the faster she moved away.

I wanted to wrap my arms around her and beg her not to leave me, but in the end I realized I had to let her go. I wish I had told her how very much I loved her and how sorry I was for anything that I had ever said or done to hurt her and I regret I didn't take the time to do more with her, but I was always so, so busy. During her illness I prayed she would get better, but, alas that was not to be and in the end the most unselfish prayer I have ever prayed was that God bring her home and not let her suffer.

While she was ill she told me about the funeral of her father, Jonas, who died in 1918 during the flu epidemic. She loved her "Poppy" dearly and told me something she had never mentioned before, that white doves had been released at the cemetery.

When she died, my fondest wish was to have a dove release to take her home to her "Poppy", but I was unable to find handlers close enough. White homing pigeons are used instead of doves. One white "dove" is released at the grave representing the soul of your loved one departing. Several white "doves" are released from a distance and those represent the souls of their loved ones who have come to take them home. The white "doves" gather and circle overhead then, fly away, symbolizing the souls departing for heaven.

I am ever so grateful for the 50 years I had with my grandmother and would have gladly taken 50 more...even five minutes more. I'll carry with me always my deep and abiding love for her and the knowledge of what a great privilege it was to have known her. The belief that gives me the greatest comfort is that she is with her Mommy and Poppy and all those that she loved so dearly.

There is a painting by Lee Stroncek called Roses in the Snow. The painting depicts a cemetery with snow blanketing the ground, flakes falling softly in the trees. There, in front of an old tombstone, kneels a woman in a black coat and scarf placing red roses on the grave. I don't think I have ever seen a painting which conveys everlasting love the way this painting does.

So, I make you this promise, as long as my heart remembers and as long as I am able,
I'll bring you roses in the snow.

Goodbye, my Grammy, I love you,
your granddaughter, Rhonda Robertson

Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft starlight at night.

I am the song that will never end,
I am the love of family and friend
I am the child who was come to rest
In the arms of the Father who knows her best.

Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die.

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