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GEORGE GOSS LETTERS Saw Mill Ranch near Chili Camp May 20th 1852

Dear Mother

I have before commenced Dear Parents for I felt that you were kind good
and each dear alike to me but now how can I write to you! oh that I could be
with you to weep with you, to comfort you and more than all to assist you. I
can weep here. I can try to be reconciled but how can I assist you how can I
help you to bear this heavy weight of sorrow and the manny dutys that are so sudenly
and I unexpectedly thrown upon you. I received the first tidings of Dear Fathers death
Last Sunday from Wm Goodwille; how unexpected it came! I went to Sonora and saw him and
Miller, they had rec'd Letters from home and very kindly told me the painfull truth
but I could hardly credit it untill I came home where I found your Letter of
March 29th which leaves me no longer in doubt that my Father is dead. I have read
and reread your Letter many times and I know not what to say or do. I feel
as though I ought to come home for I know that you need my assistance but when
I think of the warmth and unhealthiness of the journey at this season and the
probable chances of geting enough by another Spring to pay all the debts
and thus keep the farm I dont know but it will be better for us all that I
should stay here. I am now cooking for a company that are building a Mill. they
pay me fair wages and the work is not very hard my health has not been so good
for the last few weeks and I had quit mining and come up here to haying as I
have writen in my last letter which I wrote to Father not once thinking
that he was sleeping by the side of Dear Lucy and Mary and that you were
mourning his loss if I had once thought of this I never could have left you but
I had hoped to return to you in health to find you all well and happy but now
how sad will be my returne. the day after writing our cook left and they
gave me the chance till they could get another. Since receiving your letter I
have been talking with the Co about leaving and they wish to have me stay as
cook if I can. I like the men to work for I like the businefs and I
think my health is now improving, at least it is no worse than when I wrote
last and I dont know but it is best to say awhile yet for I cannot get
home before July if I was ready to start next Steamer and I

page2 have lent some monney and have other businefs that I cannot leave now without
loosing something. perhaps I may come next month if I do not I think I shall
send you a check for about $300.00 dollars which I can spare by that time and
which you will probably need for I cannot think of your selling the farm if you
wish to live on it as I think yo do. You dont want to leave it do you
Mother? dont sell it if you want to stay there for if I stay here till next
March I think I can get enough to pay most of the debts and if I come home soon
you can then do as we all think best. if I dont come I think you had better
sell some of the Stock. if you can sell Charley for a fair price, sell him. if
he has got the spring halt as you were affraid sell him if you can
but if he is well and you can get him fat by keeping him if you think is best
keep him that will depend a great deal upon who is with you if it is Cozen
Leonard, and I hope it is, he can get along with him but it aint every
one that can work him without spoiling him and perhaps hurting themselvs.
dont let the boys try to work him! by James Letter you have probably sold Rob
and have only old John that you and the boys can use. you ought to keep one
horse and get a yoke of Oxen if you can sell the rest. if there is a good
chance to sell some of the cows I would sell them and also some of the other
stock and then you will have some hay and grain to sell. I think you had better
sell the stock and produce than to sell the farm. at least the home part. if there Is
a chance to sell the hill part you can sell it if you think you can get what it is worth.
(I think it is worth fifteen hundred dollars at least.) but I think the best part
to sell will be fifty acres on the part towards Mr Adams. if you can sell that
I should think you had better sell it but you must do as you think best till I
come and I shall be satisfied There will be an Administrator chosen by you
probably before you receive this; if it is Uncle David you can depend upon him
for advice better than on anything I can write. Whoever it is have confidence
in them and dont feal uneasy about the management of the farm and the
affairs for you know you are not very healthy and I had much rather you would
take care of your health then the property for you can find many who will do
all that you can do and all that can be done toward paying the debts and
settleing the affairs.

page3 You wrote about my sending if I had any account against Father he gave me 
his note for one hundred dollars the night befor I left home which I enclosed in a 
letter (directed to one of the boys saying what I wanted should be done with it if 
I never come home) and left it in the small trunk which Father put in his chest. I 
want you to take that trunk and take care of it, if it is necessary you can open it 
and find the note but if you can get along without it till I come home I wish you would. 
If you open it take care of the papers and dont let them be looked over more that 
to find the note for I do not wish to have them seen I dont know as I have any thing 
more to write about the affairs but Mother I want to write a great deal to you for 
I feel that you more then the rest of us need comfort and assistance. Oh! Mother 
be calm, be reconciled. though Father could not tell you after he was taken yet can 
we not hope that like dear Lucy he could say though he had a good home here he was 
going to a great deel better one and that he was ready to go and did not wish to stay! 
Yes; we can hope he has found a better Home with her and countless millions more and that
we may one day meet them there Where "tears shall be wiped from all eyes" and 
where partings are never known. though his death was very unexpected we must not wish him 
back; we can not! but we can mourn his lofs Oh! how I wish I was there to mourn with you! 
I can hardly realize the truth that Father has died and that I am so far from you. it 
seems more like a dreem then like reality. how chainged will every thing at home
seem when I return. but Mother I hope I shall not find you changed too. do not!
do not wear yourself out with sorrow or with care. but take care of your
health; take care of it by all means so that you can welcome my return if it is
so ordered and whatever may come remember He doeth all things well. Mother you
must not stay at home too much or have to many cares on your mind get some good
hand on the farm if you can and trust to him and the boys I think Leonard is a
good one if you can get him dont let Levi and Francis do too much but let them go
to School when they can. dont have any anxiety about me I may come soon and I may not, 
but I do want to come now write me often and always remember me as your affectionate
son

George

Dear Brother Levi

You have lost a kind and good Father and that very unexpectedly which leavs
you and Mother with many things that you are called to do. you must be good and
help Mother all you can and see to things as well as you can, you
will wont you? remember that Father Is gone and Mother needs all the help you
can give her, help her all you can if I dont come home soon you must go to
school when you can and Francis you are a good boy I hope and try to do all
you can, be good, be kind, be steady, take care of the things and dont work to
hard take care of the young apple trees; take care of the garden; take
care of all the stock and help Mother all you can tell friend James that I am
very thankfull for his kind letter, it was very kind in him to come and
stop with you as he did and I will write to him soon but cannot at present I
wish I could come home and be with you to assist you in carrying on the farm and
doing the work but I dont know but I ought to stay and get enough to pay the
debts with for I want to try and keep the farm if Mother wants to stay there if
you sell off some of the stock, pay up the debts as fast as you can I will send
some monney soon if I dont come and I want to have it used to pay the
debts. had Father paid John Willson the monney he got of him when I left?
if not pay it as soon as you can and pay that to Cloud S. Lawrence and the
others as soon as you can. I may come home soon Mr White talks of comeing
soon and I think I shall come with him, he is well and so are the rest from
our way but I must close I wish I could come insted of writing but I think
of you constantly and shall come soon if I can. I have not herd from Mr
Ooodeillately but presume he is well you must all write soon and think of your
Brother ofte

Affectionately Your Brother
Geo Gofs