Life in the 1500's: Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the b.o. Baths equalled a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually loose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water". Houses had thatched roofs. Thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the pets... dogs, cats and other small animals, mice, rats, bugs lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. So, they found if they made beds with big posts and hung a sheet over the top, it addressed that problem. Hence those beautiful big 4 poster beds with canopies. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor". The wealthy had slate floors which would get slippery in the winter when wet. So they spread thresh on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed at the entry way, hence a "thresh hold". They cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They mostly ate vegetables and didn't get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been in there for a month. Hence the rhyme: peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." Sometimes they could obtain pork and would feel really special when that happened. When company came over, they would bring out some bacon and hang it to show it off. It was a sign of wealth and that a man "could really bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat." Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food. This happened most often with tomatoes, so they stopped eating tomatoes... for 400 years. Most people didn't have pewter plates, but had trenchers - a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Trencher were never washed and a lot of times worms got into the wood. After eating off wormy trenchers, they would get "trench mouth." Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust". Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake". England is old and small and they started running out of places to bury people. So, they would dig up coffins and would take their bones to a house and re-use the grave. In reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on their wrist and lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night to listen for the bell. Hence on the "graveyard shift" they would know that someone was "saved by the bell" or he was a "dead ringer". A special thanks to Shelley Green, who always shares with me everything!
A scientist had developed his own ultra high speed computer and was attempting to market it himself. He went to a prominent company and brought the computer into the CEO's office. The scientist gave his presentation to the busy executive and asked him to pose any question he desired to the computer. The CEO said, "OK, where's my father?" The computer replied that the man's father was fishing in Minnesota. The executive laughed and told the scientist to leave. "My father has been dead for 20 years." The scientist asked for a second chance and said perhaps the phrasing of the question caused the computer to err. If the CEO would rephrase the question, the scientist believed the computer would answer correctly. "So, where is my mother's husband?" the CEO asked. The computer responded, "Your mother's husband died 20 years ago; your father just landed a five pound trout." HUMOR. Thanks to Jerry D.
1. My family coat of arms ties at the back....is that normal? 2. My family tree is a few branches short! All help appreciated. 3. My ancestors must be in a witness protection program! 4. Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall! 5. My hobby is genealogy, I raise dust bunnies as pets. 6. How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE?? 7. I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap. 8. I'm not stuck, I'm ancestrally challenged. 9. I'm searching for myself; Have you seen me? 10. If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help... 11. Isn't genealogy fun? The answer to one problem leads to two more! 12. It's 2000... Do you know where your-Gr-Gr-Grandparents are? 13. A family reunion is an effective form of birth control. 14. A family tree can wither if nobody tends it's roots. 15. A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away. 16. After 30 days, unclaimed ancestors will be adopted. 17. Am I the only person up my tree... sure seems like it. 18. Any family tree produces some lemons, some nuts and a few bad apples. 19. Ever find an ancestor HANGING from the family tree? 20. FLOOR: The place for storing your priceless genealogy records. 21. Gene-Allergy: It's a contagious disease, but I love it. 22. Genealogists are time unravelers. 23. Genealogy is like playing hide and seek: They hide... I seek! 24. Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people. 25. "Crazy" is a relative term in my family. 26. A pack rat is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor. 27. I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand. 28. I Should have asked them BEFORE they died! 29. I think my ancestors had several "Bad heir" days. 30. I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the JUNEflower. 31. Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards as progress. 32. Share your knowledge; it is a way to achieve immortality. 33. Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools! 34. It's an unusual family that hath neither a lady of the evening or a thief. 35. Many a family tree needs pruning. 36. Shh! Be very, very quiet.... I'm hunting forebears. 37. Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors! 38. That's strange: half my ancestors are WOMEN! 39. I'm not sick, I've just got fading genes. 40. Genealogists live in the past lane. 41. Cousins marrying cousins: Very tangled roots! 42. Cousins marrying cousins: A non-branching family tree. 43. All right! Everybody out of the gene pool! 44. Always willing to share my ignorance... 45. Documentation... The hardest part of genealogy. 46. Genealogy: Chasing your own tale! 47. Genealogy... will I ever find time to mow the lawn again? 48. That's the problem with the gene pool: NO Lifeguards. 49. I researched my family tree... and apparently I don't exist! 50. SO MANY ANCESTORS...........................SO LITTLE TIME! Ted Elston Contributed by: Jan Wheelock
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